What If There Were only 9 Months Left?
by Amalia Lupin
Summary: Story finished. James is plagued by a deadly disease... his feelings towards Lily may just complicate things. His sister loves him... alot. So much that it would hurt had she not been dead... Read and Review please!
1. The one and only

A.N. Hey this is my second fic and there will be lots of chapters k?? Go read The* Conversation. THX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~-*-~What if there were 9 months left?~-*-~  
  
  
Lily Evans, Maria Day and Valerie White were sitting in their compartment talking about what they were planning to do in their sixth year. Lily looked at her friends then turned her head to gaze out the window. Time goes by so fast, when you finally notice it seems that a few years ago was just yesterday. She thought.  
  
Suddenly the compartment door slid open and in came 2 sixth year boys better known as the SO annoying Maurauders. Like usual Sirius Black was goofing around, Remus Lupin was talking with Valerie about, well, stuff, Peter Pettigrew was listening to the conversation between the others butting in every few minutes and, well, James Potter was NOT acting like usual at all.  
  
Instead of having a heated argument with Lily he just sat across her not saying anything and watched the things go by through the window. The door slid open once more and Noe's head peeked in the compartment.  
  
Noe Ling was a sixth year Ravenclaw with origins from China and one of Maria's friends. "Hey Maria, are you coming??" She asked her. Maria nodded and followed Noe out. Valerie stood up and said "I Think I will go to the prefect's compartment. And she went out too. Lily pretended to follow her since peter was gone AND she did not want to stay there alone.  
  
But instead she just stood outside the compartment door listening to the boys' conversation. She did not manage to here lots but this is what she heard.  "9 Months!!" she heard Sirius exclaim.  
  
"How come you never told us?" said Remus.  
  
"So, so" choked Sirius as if he was trying to hold back tears. "It's gonna be y-your last year then?" Lily saw James nod as she entered the compartment. She still had no clue of what was going on.  
  


~*~ Later in the year~*~

Lily and James had managed to get into detention barely 2 weeks after the beginning of the term. It was Friday, really boring and EXTREMELY hot.  
  
But even these circumstances and the fact that they were supposed to be accomplishing their detention did not stop the two prefects to bicker. After a big argument in Potions class and a little accident involving Professor Ewing's robes getting drenched in invisibility potion.  
  
James and Lily were still in a heated argument about the previous *accident'.  
  
"It's your bloody fault that we're here in the first place Potter." Muttered Lily.  
  
James' breathing had started to become shallow but both of them hardly noticed.  
  
"No it isn't, If little Miss I'm-Such-A-Perfect-Prefect hadn't tripped while walking then she wouldn't of have spilled Ewing's cauldron all over him." James replied.  
  
"Well if Mr I'm-Such-A-Good-Catch-Everyone-Wants-Me wouldn't of put his foot in front of me to trip me in the first place then I wouldn't of fell at all."  
  
~*~Flashback~*~  
  
"Miss Evans" called Professor Ewing's Voice. Lily got up and starting walking towards Ewing's desk.  
  
Unknown to her, James who was sitting in the front row stuck his foot out and Lily tripped on it. She fell and while her fall knocked over Ewing's cauldron.  
  
"You're such a stupid bastard Potter," yelled Lily as she lifted herself up from the floor.  
  
"EVANS, POTTER!" yelled Professor Ewing. "You're the stupid one Evans." Retorted James with his usual grin plastered face.  
  
"BOTH OF YOU! DETENTION!!" he bellowed.  
  
"Together" he added as an after thought, Laughing at the shocked and disgusted looks and their faces.  
  
~*~End of Flashback~*~  
  
James turned his back to her and started scrubbing his half of the dishes. "Miss Perfect." Lily heard him mumbling. He was breathing with more trouble than before but ignored it, thinking it was probably just the heat.  
  
_Arrgghhh_ thought Lily.  
  
She lifted the pan in her hands but just as she was going to strike, James fell down on the floor.  
  
_OH MY GOD_ she thought.  
  
She dropped everything that she was holding to the floor beside her and scrambled towards his body.  
  
_He looks_ she thought _He looks DEAD!!!_ A few tears rolled down her cheeks. She fell on her knees beside him and took his head in her lap. James was hardly breathing at all. "Wake up Potter" she said, gently tapping his cheek. He stopped breathing.  
  
  
"N-no, Potter? J-James… stay awake. Please." _What am I going to do? Think Lily, think. YES, the breathing charm we practiced in Flitwick's class._  
  
Holding back thoughts of him dead, she flicked her wand at James' throat and muttered "Respirus". Slowly his breathing came back but James still lay unconscious.  
  
Lily conjured up stretchers and ran towards the Hospital wing with James floating at her side.  
  
"MME POMFREY" She yelled as soon as the doors were open. Pomfrey burst in with a wondrous look but as soon as she saw James' limp body she said "Dumbledore" Lily nodded her comprehension and ran towards his office. When she got to the stone gargoyle she yelled the password (she knows it since she's a prefect) and it stepped aside. Inside, Dumbledore was reading.  
  
He looked up with a smile. "Yes Miss Evans, is anything wrong?" he asked. "James" she breathed.  
  
Dumbledore's smile changed into a frown and both of them started running to the Hospital wing without a word. When the finally reached it James was breathing normally but still unconscious. "What happened?" he asked Lily. "Well we were just washing the dishes and we were arguing and I think he started to breath heavily but I thought it was just the heat or something then he just collapsed on the floor and stopped breathing." Tears were threatening to fall on Lily's cheeks. "It's ok Lily." Said Dumbledore. "And I put a breathing charm on him and..."  
  
"Is he gonna be, well, will he be, ok?" She asked him. "Miss Evans" started Dumbledore. Lily gulped. "That was some great fast thinking, you might have just helped him a lot by performing that charm."  
  
"Professor Dumbledore?" asked madam Pomfrey. "I think that miss Evans should also stay here, well at least for tomorrow because she has a very high temperature."  
  
Lily climbed in the bed beside James' and listened to the two adults' conversation outside the door.  
  
"How much time?" asked Pomfrey. "8 months and 2 weeks" replied Dumbledore. At this Pomfrey broke into tears. "Still no cure?" she asked him again.  
  
"I'm afraid not," he answered.  
  
"The poor boy, the longest a wizard has ever lived when suffering from the marcuriust disease has been barely 5 years and James has had it ever since he was 4."  
  
From this moment on, Lily lay in her bed with her eyes wide open not listening anymore.  
  
The marcuriust disease was the deadliest wizard disease to have ever existed.  
  


The next morning when Lily Woke up, James was still lying on his bed. As soon as she moved Madam Pomfrey came over to her bed. "Good Morning dear, did you sleep well?" Lily took a few sips of this awful syrup that Madam Pomfrey had made.  
  
Lily looked down at James and went over to his bed. _If he dies, the last thing he would've heard was me accusing him of that stupid accident._ She sat on a chair beside his bed and laid her head on her arms beside him on his bed. She looked at him again and a funny feeling took birth in her stomach. _He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, or is he sleeping? _  
  
She couldn't bear to look at him any longer and turned her head the other way, her hair fell in a pool on James' bed. A couple of minutes later Lily fell asleep.  
  
  
  
At around noon, James woke up. His world was all blurry._ Ugh, where am I? Where are my glasses? Who is THAT? _he thought looking at the redhead girl asleep on his bed. He searched for his glasses. When he finally found them on the side table he put them on and his blurry view became normal again. Suddenly James' headache became worse than ever.  
  
"Oooohh, I feel like I've fallen 50 feet off my broom" he said clutching his head with his hands. The girl suddenly woke up and was looking at James with a hoping expression. Not recognizing her at once James said "What?" "JAMES!" said the girl and she threw her arms around him and hugged him. James' eyes widened as he realised whom exactly the girl was.  
  
"Whoah!" he said as he pulled Lily Evans a few centimetres from him. He looked in her watery eyes. His heart tied in a knot and he felt a tingling sensation.  
  
Then his eyes became worried and he started asking lots of questions still gripping her arms. "What happened? Why am I here? Did you just call me James? Why are you here? Why are you crying?"  
  
Lily let out a small whimper and James released Lily's arms. "Sorry. I'm sorry," muttered James. "It's ok," breathed Lily. "Well, I'm here because I had a high temperature." Started to explain Lily, "You're h-here because. Well. Yesterday in detention, you, you lost consciousness and…"  
  
Lily's voice trembled a bit but she continued to talk under James' eye. "And I put a breathing charm on you cuz you stopped breathing and, and, I brought you here." finished Lily rubbing her left arm. James took her arm and Lily winced. Gently he lifted her sleeve and looked at the already slightly blue bruise.  
  
 "I'm sorry Lily I'm really, really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
 "No it's ok, really." replied Lily.  
  
"Hey" said James. She looked at him. "What?" "You left two questions unanswered." He said. Noticing that Lily wasn't answering he spoke again. "I asked you why did you call me James and why were you crying"

He asked searching her eyes. "I called you James because I was relieved that you were ok and—" said Lily, "I was crying because, because." "You don't have to answer" cut in James. Lily nodded. Actually she did not want to answer at all. "I don't think that James wants me to know," she thought.  
  
 "So" said James. "Are we friends now?" he asked. Lily looked at James and replied, "If I say yes does that mean that I will no longer be victim of any of your pranks?" James laughed. "Maybe" he answered. "Then it's no" she said and got up to go back to her bed but James grabbed her arm before she could go.  
  
 "Wait!" Lily winced at the pain but stopped. "Sorry" apologized James. _You should use this last chance to make up for your mistakes._  
  
 "Look Lily, I'm really sorry for everything that I made you go through, it's just that pulling pranks is what I like to do the most and well I don't know WHY I always pulled them on you."  
  
He said. _Yes you do, it's because she looks cute when she's angry._ James shook his head to get rid of the thought.  
  
What he didn't know what that he had spoken his thought out loud.  
  


And it was at that moment that Madam Pomfrey walked in. "Oh my god, Potter, you're awake! Miss Evans, please go back to your own bed, you're burning hot, what happened you're red all over the face?"  
  
James turned his head towards Lily and saw that she was blushing. 'Oh my god, did I just say that out loud' thought James and blushed himself.  
  
"Did you just." started to say James but was cut off by Madam Pomfrey forcing some disgusting bluish liquid down his throat cut him off.  
  
"UGH! That tastes awful!" he started complaining. Suddenly Madam Pomfrey let three people in and went out. Sirius, Remus and Dumbledore came aside James' bed.  
  
"How are you doing Mr Potter?" asked Dumbledore. James looked at his two friends who looked extremely worried.  
  
"Well I was quite fine before I had to drink that awful blue stuff, really it tastes like shit!" James saw his friends and Dumbledore relax and smile. He grinned and Sirius asked Dumbledore, "What happened exactly?" Dumbledore looked at James and said, "Do they know?"  
  
"Lily doesn't," he said. But Lily knew. And Dumbledore knew that she knew. But the others did not know that Lily knew and that Dumbledore knew that she knew.  
  
The next day both of them went back to Gryffindor Tower in silence.  
  
~*Two weeks later*~  
  
"JAMES POTTER!!"  
  
James' dorm woke up to the sound of a yell coming form the girls' dorms. Sirius got up rubbing his head but grinning all the same. James was still sound asleep.  
  
"I guess he's so used by yelling that he is not annoyed by it," he said out loud.  
  
A couple of minutes after Lily stormed in the boys' dorm.  
  
"Lily, you're confronting rules be entering our dorm, you know it's not aloud for a girl to go in a boy's dorm." Snickered Sirius  
  
Lily plainly ignored Sirius and went over to the bed in which James was currently sleeping.  
  
She bent down as if she was going to whisper something in his ear.  
  
"WAKE UP!!!!!" she yelled directly in his ear.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHA? WHA? WHAT HAPPENNED?"  
  
He looked at Lily and grinned. He then blushed.  
  
Lily was still in her nightgown.  
  
"Oh" he stated simply.  
  
Lily smashed his head with a pillow.  
  
Remus got up rubbing his eyes but just as he opened his mouth to talk he received a pillow with the force of a running train.  
  
"Hey!" he whined.  
  
"I didn't do anything. Yet" he said.  
  
"YOU PROMISED," yelled Lily Angrily at James.  
  
She then gave one last yell of frustration and left "ARGH"  
  
'It's not my fault you're so irresistible thought James, out loud, again.  
  
Sirius and Remus looked at James with amused smiles.  
  
"WHAT?" James snapped.  
  
They just stood there grinning maliciously.  
  
"Oh" James just realised that he had voiced his thoughts. Again.  
  
"SHIT! I-It's not what I m-meant," stuttered James.  
  
Sirius snickered.  
  
". I meant t-to pull pranks on.euh"  
  
"Yeah. Right" said Remus.  
  
James looked at him  
  
"Moooonnyyyyy" James said in a voice that made fear creep up on Remus' face.  
  
"What about Valer---" "LALALALALAALALALALALALAAALALALALAAAAAAAAALALALALALA I CAN'T HEEAAAAARRR YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU LALALALALALALA" yelled Remus with his hands over his ears, obviously trying to block out James' voice.  
  
Sirius who was watching everything was laughing his head off.  
  
"What about you?" asked James over Remus' voice, poking Sirius in the sides.  
  
Sirius giggled then stopped abruptly.  
  
James poked him again.  
  
Giggle  
  
Poke  
  
Giggle  
  
Poke  
  
"STOP!!!!!!!" yelled Sirius pleadingly.  
  
Poke poke poke poke poke poke  
  
"I'm late!!" yelled James suddenly.  
  
James ran down the stairs.  
  
He just ran until he reached the castle entrance.  
  
He didn't stop and he reached the forbidden forest then ran some more.  
  
Finally he came to a clearing where a small pond of crystal-like water shimmered.  
  
Over the Pond floated a girl about 7 years of age.  
  
Her eyes were closed and her black hair flowed around her as well as the silver mist.  
  
James approached her and sat down near the pond.  
  
Touching the water his gaze reflected on her as he spoke.  
  
"Hey hunny"  
  
The girl's crystal-blue eyes opened and she smiled.  
  
Then she put on a fake frown.  
  
"You're late" she whispered with her melodic voice.  
  
"Sorry?" James tried.  
  
The mysterious girl came down from her floating place and sat besides James.  
  
"How is it up in heaven?" asked James.  
  
"It's ok really I found my kitten." The angel replied for she was really an angel.  
  
"I miss you," she said.  
  
"I miss you too. You shouldn't have died that day Krista."  
  
"James, you know it's not your fault, don't blame it on yourself."  
  
James nodded. Krista hugged him then disappeared.  
  
James leaned back and fell asleep.  
  
~*~Flash back in dream~*~  
  
_9 year old James was running around with his little sister, 7 year old Krista.  
  
Suddenly, deep voices were heard muttering incantations, fire started burning everywhere and everything in sight.  
  
Blocking almost all the entrances and all the windows. "Kris, follow me!" yelled James.  
  
Kris hadn't followed; she had to find her kitten first.  
  
James looked around outside and noticed that his sister was not with him. He ran back inside the house yelling. "KRIS!!"  
  
Suddenly he heard screaming. James followed the screams and hurried. He opened a door and what he saw terrified. It had to be the worst thing for a 9 year old to see.  
  
There was Krista, burning alive. "KRIS!!!!!" James yelled as he saw his little sister drop dead on the floor. He rushed towards her crying and screaming her name. "KRISTA!!!!!"  
  
He wanted to hold her. Tell her that everything would be ok but someone was holding him back. She couldn't be dead, she simply couldn't. He would never believe it.  
  
Aurors had rushed to the potter's house as soon as they had known about You- Know-Who's attack. One of the Aurors was holding back James as he struggled to get to his sister.  
  
Another Auror was rapping the tiny girl's body.  
  
James was not crying anymore. He just stared nowhere in particular trying to make himself believe that Somewhere, Krista was still alive.  
  
_

~*~ End of Flashback~*~

James opened his eyes groggily.  
  
'Ooh, what time is it?' He looked down at his muggle watch.  
  
'Shit, classes already started!' He got up but fell back down. Again, he tried.  
  
'No! No, no no no no no! This can't happen!' He looked around, there was nothing within his reach that he could hold on.  
  
'Not here, Not Now!' James finally got up on both of his legs and limped his way back to the castle. He came out of the forest.  
  
"Sniff"  
  
He wiped his nose and limped some more. When he opened the Huge Oak doors, nobody was seen in the hallway.  
  
"Nobody noticed I was gone. Maybe nobody won't when I die."  
  
"That's not true." James turned around to face where the voice came from.  
  
Lily was standing there wet and shivering. Her face masked an expression of different emotions. Fear, concern and. relief.  
  
"James, you're hurt. Let me get you to the hospital wing." James nodded in silence. Lily took his arm and put it over her shoulders so that some pressure could be taken off his legs. She had forgotten her wand in the hospital wing.  
  
"JAMES!" Sirius ran towards them.  
  
"What the hell happened?" he took his other arm and repeated Lily's move.  
  
In the hospital wing, Sirius left them saying that he was going to get someone.  
  
"Lily, what happened to you? You are completely soaked--"  
  
"So are you. Get under these covers or you will catch a cold." Lily ordered.  
  
'It amazes me how she can care about others when she is in bad condition herself' thought James.  
  
"Well you haven't exactly been there to see that," said Lily. James stared at her round-eyed.  
  
"You can read minds?" he asked completely surprised.  
  
"No, you said that out loud." She answered him, tucking him in and putting a cold wipe on his forehead.  
  
James stayed silent. After a moment he felt nervous.  
  
"Look" they both started.  
  
"You go first," insisted James.  
  
Lily looked down at her shoes.  
  
"I wanted to know, well." She struggled to find her words. "Since we. Had euh, our share of problems and. never mind."  
  
James stared at her.  
  
"Continue,"  
  
"I wanted to know, can we. Be friends?" she asked completely uncertain.  
  
Seeing that James did not respond, Her eyes filled up with tears. Not daring to let them fall she continued.  
  
"Sorry, I should've-"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said sure. I would love to be friends and you are right, I never exactly tried talking to you, you were different so I teased you. So now you won't hit me. And I am kind of sorry about the.uhm, wake up call last morning."  
  
Lily sniffled and smiled.  
  
Silence.  
  
"I'm your friend now right?" Lily asked.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"So I have to right to say. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT OUTSIDE BY THIS WEATHER???"  
  
James cowered under his covers. That's what his mum would've said to him.  
  
"I was seeing some. Thing." James sneezed.  
  
Lily came over to his bed and lifted the cover from over his legs.  
  
"Don't worry it's not like I am going to rape you or anything I am just checking why you were limping."  
  
James looked at her with a weird look.  
  
"HEY!" protested Lily.  
  
James smirked.  
  
Lily looked at his legs. He had a huge bruise right over his left knee. It was big and there were a few small bruises over his right knee too. She gulped. Lily knew that the bruises were not from being hurt. But he still didn't know that.  
  
'Maybe not that we are friends he will tell me' thought Lily. She went to get something in a near cabinet.  
  
"Why isn't Pomfrey here?" asked James.  
  
"I am taking her place for the week. She has problems with her family. And since I am more advanced than the others Dumbledore let me take her place."  
  
"Oh"  
  
She took out a jar with a blue jelly like substance in it from the cabinet and walked towards the bed.  
  
She opened it and set it on the small table beside her.  
  
James still had his pants on. Realizing what he had to do she blushed.  
  
"Uhm. James, do you have boxers on?" Her face was almost as red as her hair.  
  
James looked at her funny.  
  
"Are you sure that you're not gonna rape me?" he asked. "Yes why?"  
  
" I have to put this on your legs before it gets worse. And well, you need to take your pants off." She blushed some more.  
  
He took off his pants and Lily dipped some of the substance in her heads and started spreading it.  
  
"It's cold!" exclaimed James.  
  
"Yeah," she answered. Slowly, she massaged the substance on his legs making the pain numb partially.  
  
Sirius entered the hospital wing running alongside Remus.  
  
He stopped dead in his tracks when he got a glimpse of the awkward scene.  
  


Remus was not really looking where he was going lets say and just continued walking without noticing the awkward scene.

"Remus!" hissed Sirius grabbing hold of the other's arm before he went any further.

Remus just looked at Sirius and lifted his eyebrow. Sirius nudged him in the ribs and nodded towards the scene.

"Gosh if… goodness… If someone did not know that James was hurt it would look like she was mm-ing him you know? Why isn't Pomfrey here by the way?" whispered Remus.

"She is gone for the week and lily is taking her place. If you didn't notice, her grades are higher than anyone in the school in most of her subjects."

"Feeling intelligent Sirius? Taking advantage of me being, uhmm well… let's just not talk about that ok…" Remus said blushing then he grinned. His eyes twinkled with the usual Maurauder style. This surprised Sirius a LOT seeing as Remus was usually the more conserved one.

And that **s c a r e d** Sirius.

"What in the whole wide hell are you thinking about Moony?"

Remus grinned again. "I am gonna tell you Sirius but on one condition…"

"Right… I swear."

"Say it better I don't want anyone to know about this until I am uhmm ready…" Remus replied blushing again.

"Gosh… I solemnly swear that I will never ever tell unless I am forced to say it by prongs which will probably happen by the way because I do **NOT** want to be under the tickling charm for a whole week again for **NOT** telling him something!!!!!"

"Fine, I get it now. But… don't you think James is enjoying that uhm… rubbing session… a bit too much…" he answered not really asking a question but more like stating a fact.

Sirius turned towards the scene. James had his eyes closed and was wearing a goofy smile, and Lily just concentrated on her hands. Sirius grinned.

"Later on we will go visit him like the good buddies we are. But right now let's go to our dorm and take our things." Said Remus.

"YEAH and then we can get chicken wings!"

**_---Back in the hospital wing---_**

Lily had just finished rubbing the gel on his legs when she noticed that James had fallen asleep.

_'I forgot that it was also a sleeping gel'_ thought Lily. She pulled the cover back over his legs and went to the front of the bed. Sitting down on the chair beside James she sighed.

_'I am so glad to not be in his place right now, he is soo cute while he sleeps.'_ she thought. She started playing softly with his hair and noticed another bruise right behind his right ear. She started worrying a bit. Her heart starting beating faster. Who would of ever guessed that she could be worried about someone that she used to loathe. Not that she liked him or anything, just worried a little.

_'Is it bad if they appear on his head,'_ she thought. She massaged some more gel there and put the jar back in the cabinet.

Lily was starting to feel drowsy. The gel's smell was quite powerful_. ' I can't go to sleep… now I have to check… on… James…'_

~

**_~~~Lily's dream~~~_**

_~I hate you Evans~_

_~Evans, you're in my way~_

_~Get a life Evans~_

_~Evans~_

_…Evans_

**_~~~~~~_**

"Miss Evans…Miss Evans?"

Lily woke up damning the dream that she had and looked up at the presence that had awoke her.

"I-I'm sorry professor, I-"

"You fell asleep because of the numbing gel, I know. Even sometimes when I apply it to my nose I…well that is not the point. I have a student here who got burned in potions class that needs your help miss Evans I don't think that professor Ewing was expecting any accidents so he did not prepare any reversing potion."

"Thank you professor, I think that I can handle it on my own." replied Lily. Dumbledore went out and a first year came in. Most of his left hand was burned and the skin was lifting a bit everywhere and some blood and pus was oozing.

"Poor dear, you were with professor Ewing weren't you? I bet he didn't even give you the anti-burning potion before he let you on your own I can't believe that the headmaster let him become potions master 2 years ago."

The first year nodded and sniffed, wiping his nose with his free hand.

"Sit here, I will be write back I have to write this down on the report," said Lily motioning the bed beside James' and leaving for the office. The boy sat down on the bed and looked intently at James who had just woke up.

"Hey, boy, could you get me my glasses there, thanks. Kevin right? You got burned," said James stating the obvious.

"Duh"

"Don't tell her that I woke up ok, I want to loo… surprise her." croaked James. The first year nodded as Lily came back into view and James half-closed his eyes.

"Here. I will put on this ointment and bandage your hand. You are right-handed right? Well, can you keep a secret?" whispered Lily.

"Yes," answered Kevin.

"I will give you a note allowing you to skip this week's classes even if your wand hand is fine. But you have to come here once a day so that I can check up on your bad one ok?"

"Thanks Miss Lily!" Kevin said jumping to his feet and embracing her.Lily smiled and hugged him back. She knew this boy before for his mum always chose muggle babysitter's in the summer. He took the note from her hands and skipped out of the hospital wing. Lily kept smiling and stood up, walking towards the office.

"You know who he reminds me of?"

She turned around to see James awake and on his side propped on his elbow.

She smiled.

"You" she answered softly.

She walked back towards his bed and sat down on the chair propping her head on he hands.

"You always used to get out of the most tricky situations. Always came up with excuses thought most of the time they really sucked I can't believe you even got to be a prefect must of sl-."

"Hey… Eww!"

Lily grinned.

Then Lily and James just looked at each other for a few minutes, not really having anything to say.

_'Should I tell her?'_ thought James.

"Tell me what?" asked Lily. James groaned hiding his face in his pillow.

_'I have to get rid of this habit' _he thought again.

"You're not doing any progress. What did you want to tell me?" _'Will he tell me about his sickness?'_

"I swear I only think out loud when…" James stopped talking as if he had just realised something and he did not want to think about it. _'Come on James don't say it, don't say it, don't say it think of something else uh FIRED CHICKEN WINGS!!!!! Fried Chicken Wings, Fried Chicken Wings, Fried Chicken Wings…'_

"When what? And what is this whole crap about fried chicken wings?????"

James blushed. He wanted to say when I think of you but that would embarrass him much more. Not that he had anything to be embarrassed about, Lily was very beautiful and smart and intelligent and stuff but… It's just life.

Lily cocked her head to her side and got up again to get some paper work.

When she came back she grinned.

"You have a new duty as my friend," She told him.

James sighed.

" Look, don't rub what I'm going to tell you in."

James smiled knowing that he would like doing that but remembered that she was his friend now.

"I know…_*sigh*_… I know that you're grades are higher than mine in transfiguration and I would really, really like your help…Please…" she said with an irresistible look, according to James. James accepted to help her and they started working on her work.

Sirius and Remus were walking down the corridor when this first year stopped them.

"Are you going to the hospital wing?" he asked them out of breath.

"Yeah, you're the little Conner one huh?" replied Sirius

"Yeah, Kevin Conner. Uhmm… could you give this note to the boy in there please?" he asked.

Remus nodded and took the note suspiciously.

Kevin's grin split from ear to ear.

"Thanks!" he then ran from sight.

Sirius and Remus continued to walk down the corridor.

"Come on Remus, not even James?" asked Sirius pitifully.

"Padfoot. I. Said. No."

"Awww why?" Sirius asked snatching the letter from Remus in the process.

"Because and Give that BACK!"

"Because is not an answer and it's not yours either so I can read it if I want."

"It is so and don't read it!"

"Aww come on Remmy, Prongs doesn't have any secrets that we don't know of!" Replied Sirius opening the letter and reading it.

"Maybe except for that…" he added.

Sirius entered the hospital wing running.

"Lily would you mind leaving for a bit… we would like to talk to James…just a little bit." Asked Sirius.

Lily looked at him weirdly and left the room.

_'Now what's wrong?'_ thought James.

"Something important" said Sirius.

"Great, each time I-"

"Think about Lily," cut in Remus.

"Yeah, I think out loud… No, wait, that's not what I-"

"Meant?" cut Sirius.

James glared at them.

"Yeah well… James, you have some coughing up to do. Mean come on, just read this… this… **LIE!**"

James took the note from Sirius' hands and read it.

"Yo James Potter,

Faking your sleep is fun huh? And By the Way,

I know. You better be a bit less obvious. You know, about you being completely…"

James stopped dead in his tracks.

"Come on! What did he write, Paddy wouldn't tell me!"

"I won't tell you either."

"Sirius if you don't tell me I am telling Maria a certain something."

"Well if you tell her that I will tell James something else!"

"GUYS! Stop that, you're acting like girls!"

"Talking about girls, tell Remus what lie that boy wrote down!"

James blushed and did not say anything.

"OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS GOSH HELL IT'S REAL!"

"What's real?" asked Remus.

"That Ja-"

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" yelled Lily as she entered the room.

"Let me read what is causing so much commotion" said Lily snatching the note. Her eyes darted to the first few sentences.

_"Yo James Potter,"_ she read out loud.

_"So faking your sleep is fun huh? And by the way, I know,_ _you better_ HEY give that back!" she said as James snatched the letter away from her quickly.

"I am sorry Lily but it's… euh, well… personal…" He said.

Lily looked at James who was clutching the letter then her eyes darted to Sirius who was snickering. Remus pouted.

"We'll come back Later Prongs," said Sirius dragging a pouting Remus.

"But I wanted to know what the rest of the letter said!" He pouted again.

"Of course If James would care to---" "Shut Up Maxi Pad and get out of here!" yelled James.

Sirius 'humphed' and exited the room with Remus behind him.

Lily went up to James and put her hand on his forehead.

"Your temperature is not that high but it's still higher than average, I suggest you get some rest for the rest of the day, It's already 4:30 Pm. I can't stay I have some paper work and a report to work on, If you need me I'll be in the office." She said and then walked to the office about 5 beds away from his.

James looked at Lily walk away. Could he be really? He stared at the letter in his hands for quite a time than finally decided to read it completely.

_Yo James Potter,_

_Faking your sleep is fun huh? And by the way._

_I know. You better be a bit less obvious, you know. About you being completely in love with Lily Evans. Don't tell me that you yourself did not notice it. I bet everyone did already. Oh and, She loves white Roses and Daisies especially. Just in case you wanted the info. Oh and… Everything written here can be used against you! Joking._

_-Kevin Conner_

P.S. Or Am I Joking and I      s       o   t­  … 

James searched the paper carefully and looked at it closely. The rest had been half erased.

He needed to know what was written down on that paper. For about an hour he stared at the paper but could not find out anything. It was 5:45 when James thought about something… I still have my **wand**.

He smacked himself on the forehead but not too hard. I am soo stupid.

He took his wand and muttered a spell.

'Apparo Effacios'

Slowly the missing Letters appeared Filling in the blanks.

The last sentence read…


	2. The relationship

I never knew  
Right beside me there was an angel  
I never knew  
You'd give my heart the wings to fly  
Because of you  
Everything in my life is changing  
Turning it to   
The kind of heaven that I never Knew

**- I never knew by Gloria Gaynor**

James' heart leaped. Wondrous thoughts flew inside his head. _Could it be true??? Could she feel this way???_ James smiled at the thought and read the last sentence again, sniffling.

I think she likes you too… 

He laid his head back down on his pillow and thought about it. He, James Potter, liked Lily 

Evans. _No!_ A jolt went through his stomach. It can't be. He couldn't. He can't like her. Not 

if he'll have to leave… Not if he's going to die.

"JAMES!" yelled a female voice.

His head snapped towards the voice. He was getting dizzy. He wiped at his nose and 

noticed that there was blood. _Blood??? Oh no…_

Lily dropped her tray on the floor and rushed to him. The two dinner platters filled with 

food scattered the ground.

"What happened??? James what did you do??? Is it because…? Oh My God…"

James could not hear anything right. He looked at Lily's fumbling hands trying to tear the 

stained covers off of him. Everything was turning. There were other figures with Lily though 

he could not see clearly, suffering from the loss of too much blood…

"Stay with me Potter," said one of the figures. James did not quite catch what was going 

around next for he passed out.

~*~Way Later~*~

James opened his eyes to a very bright white light. _Krista? Are you there?_

"No James, this is doctor Ryans."

The light disappeared leaving space for the faces of four people.

James blinked several times before his vision could come into focus.

"Where's Lily?" James groaned.

Brian Ryans snickered. James looked at the smiling faces of the three ladies accompanying 

Brian.

"You've had a rough time James, maybe you should calm down. And preferably rest a few 

more days… Lily is not here James, or else I wouldn't of… talked about your condition…"

James frowned…

"I wished to not be able to see you again Doctor… I guess I wasn't lucky this time…"

Doctor Brian spoke about what James should do and explained to him about the three 

women that would stay permanently in the school to check on his condition.

"Sarah, Olivia and Kathy, are to be introduced as three new students on an exchange 

program and be sorted in the Gryffindor house. So that they will be always close to you in 

case of any possible… 'Accidents'… They have been trained by me and I trust them." James 

sighed. "I know James but we can't take any more chances, the next one might be the 

last…"

James bit his lip and turned his head, his hair falling in front of his face to hide his eyes. 

_Why????? It's just not fair! I want to live… I want to…_ He faced Brian with tears 

threatening to fall.

"If I'm going to die, then I don't want to stay, stuck in this bed, FOREVER!!!" He yelled.

Brian smiled. "You have a strong will James, but your body is weak, so please stay in bed 

for at least another day, I don't think that you would be able to get out right away… You 

need to rest and eat. And with Miss Lily's cooking, I don't think you will mind eating."

_Lily…_ he thought. He dazed off for a while only to be brought back to earth by Brian.

"You know, you're a very lucky young man to have a girl like her."

James looked at him funny. _Am I that obvious?_

"Yes, you are. The first thing you asked when you came to was where Lily was, and the 

only thing that she kept asking was if you were going to be ok… and…" he continued 

whispering, "I think that she is still sitting beside the entrance door… you might want to 

wake her up…"

James blushed then wondered.

"How long exactly have I been unconscious?" Brian, not really answering James' question, 

withdrew himself from his patient's side.

"Lily has been asleep there for 6 hours… I think that she also might be hungry…"

James had enough energy to walk around so he got up from his bed and went outside the 

infirmary.

Just like Brian said, Lily was sitting against the wall, her knees brought up close to her 

body and her head slightly kneeled towards the right. James got on his knees in front of 

her and stared at her for a second.

Has she really been here all the while? If only I could kiss her… She looks so peaceful 

now…

James' face got closer to Lily's, not really conscious of what he was doing. When he was 

merely and inch away, her eyes fluttered open just to stare directly into his closed eyes.

James was not moving; he just stayed there, inhaling her scent. _No… this would be wrong, _

_especially because of me…_

Just as he was going to withdraw himself he felt lips being pressed on his own.

The kiss lasted about 4 seconds. Many things were going to Lily's mind. Her thoughts flew 

so fast that she had trouble registering what she was actually thinking.

James could not think at all. During those four seconds, all he had time to do was feel her 

soft lips on his own.

James opened his eyes as he realised quickly enough that Lily Evans was kissing him. His 

breathe got stuck in his throat and he stumbled backwards falling on the floor. A faint 

tinge of red appeared on his cheeks.

James supported himself on his elbows and stared open mouthed at Lily who was still 

leaning on the wall. His heart was thumping wildly.

James got on his knees again and looked at Lily

'_Why? I can't resist you… I'll lose… I have to go… before it's to late… I-'_

James' thoughts were interrupted once more as Lily kissed him another time. This time, 

James couldn't react. A jolt went through his whole body and his stomach lurched happily. 

James kissed Lily back, gathering her in his arms.

His mind was screaming at him. '_NO! This is wrong!!! You have to leave!!! NOW!!!_

James gathered all his strength and pulled away.

"Sorry…" Lily muttered.

'_Why does it hurt so much???'_

"Doctor Ryans wants to talk to you lily…" said James quietly, not looking at her in the eyes.

Lily got up. She stared at him, her hand clutching at the medallion around her neck.

If James would've looked at her at that moment, he would've realised that she knew. He 

would've figured out how much it pained her to see him this way and how much she 

actually did care for him.

Things could've gone differently. Everything could've changed. But James was avoiding her 

gaze at that particular moment when she was clutching the small heart medallion that lay 

around her neck.

Lily sighed and walked through the hospital wing doors. They closed with a quiet click after 

her. James looked up. Everything was so wrong. And all of those years that he had spent 

bickering and fighting with Lily Evans made him feel guilty.

'_Why should I feel guilty?'_ He sighed. '_Why did Brian want to speak to Lily anyways…_' 

James sank to the floor beside the doors, where Lily had been. The wall held her warmth in 

captivity and James leaned more towards it.

'_Why did she kiss me…_' he thought all of a sudden. James let his head touch the wall and 

stared at the one in front of him, his hand absently touching his lips.

Lily entered the Hospital wings and noticed that Dr Ryans was waiting for her in her office. 

Sarah was also in there but she was quite occupied filing some papers.

"James told me that you wanted to see me?"

Dr. Ryans smiled sadly and sat down in one of the chairs, pulling out the other one for Lily.

"Yes Miss Lily. I know that you are already informed about James' condition. Dumbledore 

told me." Dr Ryans looked at Lily in the eye. She gasped.

"But I never told-"

"I have no idea how you found out about it. I am pretty sure that no one actually told you 

and I don't know since when you have known about it but I think that James should be 

aware of this fact…"

Lily's heart pounded. She wrapped her arms around herself, more out of needing comfort 

than of the chilly air. She was too deep in thought to answer Dr Ryans.

"Then, if you don't want James to know, I should warn you about certain points. He will be 

visiting the hospital wing more than usual very soon. It's sad to say but we don't have 

much hope for him right now… We are still doing research but nothing has yet been found. 

Sarah and Olivia will be training you in case James has an attack or panics. I want you to 

be near him all the time."

He looked at Lily but she still held her gaze on the floor.

"Also, James' heart is in a very weak condition at the moment. Any big shock or movement 

or _outburst_ could make him have an attack. And… he… uhm… tends to get a tad _jealous_

over certain things or… people… that he cherishes…"

With that last sentence Lily's head snapped up and she looked at Dr Ryans with confusion 

and… hope?

"What do you mean Dr Ryans?"

"Please, Miss Lily, call me Brian, no need for formalities since we will now be working 

together…" Brian sighed and blew a stray strand of hair out of his face

"It seems as if my patient has developed certain feelings for you. I know that it's none of 

my business and usually I would have kept these confessions for myself but if he sees you 

with another person he might overreact…"

"I understand…"

"That is why I think that you must tell James."

Lily stood up from her chair and walked out towards the doors. Stopping beside Brian, she 

muttered softly.

"Tell me when you want me to start working, I will be ready…"

"Rest well Miss Lily, My assistants and I will take over the hospital wing for the remaining 

of the weekend."

Lily nodded and went to open the doors leading to the small hallway that connected to 

hospital wing to the main hallway.

James was sitting beside the door. His arms at his sides, his head bent slightly to the left. 

He was sleeping.

She sat beside him on the floor and snuggled closer to him.

"James…" she whispered.

"James, we should go back up to the common room. Dr Ryans said that you were in good 

enough condition to sleep in your own room. James?"

He was sleeping to profoundly and Lily did not feel like waking him up. He seemed so 

peaceful. She unfolded the sheet that she had taken from the hospital wing and brought it 

over her and James. Letting her head fall onto his shoulder, she closed her eyes and drifted 

slowly to sleep.

Lily opened her eyes slowly. It took her a few minutes to remember that she wasn't in her 

dorm bed. James had put his arm over her shoulder while they were sleeping. Lily groaned 

at the pain in her back and looked at her muggle watch.

"Only 4:30… Merlin, Note to self, never fall asleep in the corridor again…"

Lily removed James' arms slowly and then got up. She brushed away her hair from her face 

with her fingers. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she shook him slightly.

"James… I think we better head to the tower now…It's pretty late…"

James frowned and turned his head, mumbling in his sleep.

"Yeah, sure… whatever…"

He leaned towards where Lily had been moments earlier but since she wasn't there he fell 

sideways. James groaned.

!Are you okay…?" Lily asked, arching her eyebrow.

"oo er chupoz to ee esiie ee…" he answered, face stuffed in the sheet that had fallen on 

the floor when Lily got up. Realising that she had probably understood nothing of what he 

had said, he sat down cross-legged, his glasses askew on his nose and his bed-hair 

sticking out in different angles. He grinned at Lily, blinking a few times so that his vision, 

blurred by sleep, would get back to normal.

"You were supposed to be beside me"

Lily looked at him and couldn't help but suppress a smile. '_He's so cute'_ she thought.

James' eyes widened and he lifted his eyebrows, grin still plastered on his face.

"Why, I am glad that you think so!" He told her. Lily stared at him.

"Did I just…?"

"Think out loud…? I guess so…"

For a while they didn't move. Lily then held out her hand to James, he took it, getting up 

from the floor. He picked up the sheet and, still holding her hand, practically dragged her 

towards the Gryffindor tower. Lily didn't _dare_ say a word or try to pry her hand from his.

'_He didn't let go of my hand! Merlin… Maybe he-'_ Lily stopped thinking for James had 

ceased to walk. He squeezed her hand gently.

"Maybe I what?"

A blush crept over her cheeks. '_I don't want to tell him now! Think about something else _

_Lily…uhm…anything…'_

"Fried chicken wings?" She looked at James. _'That was the exact same thing that James _

_had said when he had been thinking out loud… but that means… Does he…'_ Her gaze met 

James' and she could see in his eyes that the feelings she bore for him were returned, 

though they held something more… sadness… lots of it.

"Yeah…" She answered sadly, touching his cheek with her hand. It was hard to explain but 

at the moment, no words were needed. Lily knew that James had, somehow, found out 

that she was aware of his illness.

He looked at the red head in front of him. '_It's too late James, you can't back up now. She _

_already knows everything and yet, she did not run away…'_ He looked at her hand which he 

was still holding. _'She didn't leave…'_ He pulled her hand softly, bringing her towards him. 

Before Lily realised what was happening she was engulfed in a tight embrace. Her eyes 

widened a bit but softened instantly. She put her arms around his waist. James held her 

tightly, burying his face in her hair. His eyes were lightly rimmed with tears and he closed 

them shut. He could feel his heart beat fast in rhythm with Lily's.

"Why me Lily…" His voice trembled. Lily simply let him hug her. She had never seen James 

in this state before. It had only been a few weeks that they had been closer even if it had 

been years since she first started to love him.

"Why now? Everything… Everything I've ever had… even wanted… I'll lose it all…"

His voice was forced, his jaw clenched. The tears blinding his eyes threatened to fall at any 

moment. He restrained himself as much as he could to stop them.

It was no use.

The emotions filling him at the moment were too strong. James started to cry, drops falling 

on his glasses, dampening Lily's shoulder. Inside, James was begging time to stop.

"I… I just found you Lily, I don't want to have to let go again…"

They stayed like that for a while. James taking in all the comfort that Lily provided him. 

That hug was one of the first steps that he made into her life. And when he took that step, 

the door closed behind his back, making him forever a part of her life, of _their_ life. James 

backed away slowly, his arms sliding away from Lily and ending at his sides. He bent his 

head down, hiding his eyes from her with his hair. Instinctively, Lily brushed a strand of 

hair away.

"I'm sorry Lily, I… never… cried in front of someone before…"

"You don't have to be ashamed of that James! I don't mind…"

They walked the remaining way to the common room and entered it silently. It was empty, 

normal, as it was 5:15 in the morning. Before they parted to go to their respectful 

dormitories, they stood in the middle of the common room, still.

'_This is kind of awkward_' thought Lily.

"We better go to sleep" said James quietly. He bent over and gave her a quick kiss on the 

lips, muttered goodnight and eclipsed himself. Lily smiled and went to her dorm.

~

Sirius woke up suddenly for he had the sun is in his eyes. He blinked a few times before 

realising that he had drooled all over his arm. He looked over at Remus' bed, his curtains 

were closed, as usual, so were Peter's. James's though, were open, and he lay in his bed, 

over the covers, sleeping.

'_So he came back last night'_

He looked at the clock beside his bed. '_8:30_'

"Oooh, who turned the bloody sun on this early on a Saturday…" He groaned, stuffing his 

head into his pillow. Finally deciding to take profit of the calm weekend.

Yeah right.

He couldn't go back to sleep again because of his precious friend Mr. Sun so he opened 

Remus' curtains wide and jumped on his bed.

"Wake up Mooooonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!" Remus shut his eyes tightly and with a 

sharp movement of his legs, kicked his friend out of his bed. Sirius fell on the floor, 

bumping his elbow on the ground.

"Wow Moony! You're strong!"

Remus snickered and turned his face towards his friend.

"Why did you wake me up Padfoot?"

"James-"

"Is he alright?" Remus' eyes were filled with concern for his best-friend though his voice 

was as calm as usual. Sirius grinned.

"Nah, he's ok. He's sleeping in his bed, but James has an owl waiting for him, should we 

open it?"

"Padfoot, last time you opened James' mail, remind me what happened…"

"I got burned?"

"After that…"

"Uhm… It was a surprise Howler?"

"*sigh* No, Sirius, after that one…"

"Oh! It!… was… James trying to fool me into opening his mail to see if I really **_DID_** read it 

or not…"

"And?"

"Well… I did!"

Remus smacked himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius… When will you ever learn…"

"Remus, Remus, Remus, When will you ever learn that I **_NEVER_** learn…"

Remus sighed, trying to sound desperate but failing miserably to hide his grin.

"I still think that you shouldn't open that letter Sirius…"

Sirius pouted and crossed his arms. A few moments later, Sirius' puppy eyes having no 

effect on his fellow marauder, Remus turned his head towards their dorm door. Someone 

had knocked on it. He got out of bed, throwing Sirius one of his extra shirts so that he 

would put it on (Sirius only sleeps with the bottoms of the pj's) and ignoring his pouting 

friend once more, moved to open the door. Lili was standing on the other side. Remus was 

a bit surprised to see her there.

"I… uh… is James awake?" She held in her hand a letter similar to James'. Sirius got up 

from the floor and put on the shirt that Remus had tossed him. Remus nodded no to Lily 

and went to the bathroom to shower.

"Hello dearest flower of the morning…" Sirius said in his seductive voice.

Lily glared at him. Sirius simply ignored her glare and continued to speak.

"James is sleeping right now…"

Lily looked past Sirius to see James snoring on his bed. Something didn't feel right… James 

didn't _snore_…

"Uhm… Sirius?" '_Please James don't get jealous!!! I don't want you to go back to the _

_hospital wing with another problem!_'

"But you know, there's this hogsmeade weekend coming up. I was wondering if you wanted 

to go with me… We could get-" But Sirius could not continue for he received a rather large 

transfiguration book by the head.

"Lay off her, Black…" James growled from his bed.

'_He's jealous…_' thought Lily. She looked at him and then at the owl still waiting with it's 

letter.

"Come on James, I won't touch you precious Lily-kins!" Said Sirius reaching out to stroke 

her hair. Lily stopped his hand by grabbing his wrist and pushing it down.

"Don't… Sirius…" He looked at her astonishingly as she passed him and went to sit beside 

James on his bed. A small blush crept upon James' face.

"It's ok James" she muttered softly so only him could hear her words. "He was only joking… 

to see if you were up…" James nodded, feeling stupid.

'_I can't believe I reacted that way!_'

"Uhm… Sorry about the book Padfoot.. I acted on reflex…" Sirius rubbed his head and 

narrowed his eyes.

"Well, I don't know if I should forgive you…" He answered grinning. James smiled and then 

turned towards Lily.

"Uhm… Why exactly are you here… I mean.. did Dr. Brian say something… about…" Sirius 

glanced at Peter, who was still asleep, then at Remus, surprised.

_'He told him?'_ mouthed Sirius to his pal. Remus simply shrugged.

"The letter… it _IS_ from him… he only says that we should go see him this afternoon." 

James looked at the owl. He took the letter and gave the owl a couple of treats, patting it 

on the head.

Lily touched James' hair. _'I like passing my fingers through it… I don't know why…'_ He 

turned to whisper in her ear.

"Can… Can I kiss you?"

Lily was startled. Why was he asking? James seemed so shy these days compared to his 

normal self, who was usually shameless… She whispered back.

"No." _'Someone has to take the lead'_

James sat there bewildered. Lily suddenly leaned in and kissed him, lips teasing his own 

then tongue probing his slowly making James close his eyes as he let out a very low moan. 

She touched his cheek softly, backing up and looking at him. He still had his eyes closed, 

his mouth half open.

"See you at breakfast…"

She got up and left the room swiftly. James stayed there dumbly, eyes closed, breathing 

hard. He let himself fall backwards onto his bed.

Sirius looked at his friend. '_Woah… what was *that*?_'

_//You should tease him about it!//_

Sirius looked around.

'_Ok… Now I think that I am having hallucinations…_'

_//Hihi!//_

The voice turned around Sirius' head. His eyes widened. He looked around frantically trying 

to see if there was a girl in the dorm. Finally, he decided to ignore it…

"James… are you and Lily, going out… by any chance?"

"… Uhuh…"

//_Did you know that that was James' first French kiss?_// The female voice said diabolically.

"Yeah… Right!" He snickered then realised that he had answered the voice. '_I think I just _

_took the express train to the loony bin…_'

"What's so hard to believe in me and Lily going out?" asked James, thinking Sirius had 

spoken to _him_.

"Oh, euh… I wasn't speaking to you.. James…" Sirius said absent-mindedly.

'_Who the hell are you?'_ he thought.

//_Glad you asked! I'm kind of you… well… weird conscience… but usually it's a one way _

_conversation, you shouldn't be able to actually HEAR me… and talk back to me…_//

Sirius wondered if that 'person' was really real.

"James… was that really your first… ehhh… French kiss?" James' eyes widened. He could 

feel a blush creep over his entire face. '_How the hell did he find THAT out???_' He kept his 

mouth shut, not answering.

"Merlin! You were right!" said Sirius.

//_I'm always right! But I would suggest that you speak to me in your head… unless you _

_want people to think that you're crazy…//_

"Sooo…" said Sirius.

"What?" answered James.

"How was it?"

"Padfooooooooooot!" James groaned, hiding himself behind his curtains.

Sirius laughed. Remus came out of the bathroom scrubbing his head with a towel. Another 

towel wrapped around his waist. Seeing Sirius laughing, James hiding and Peter sleeping 

(as usual) Remus tossed his towel (the one for his hair) in the laundry basket and ruffled 

his hair up with his fingers.

"What did I miss?"

//_Oooh!!! It's the werewolf guy!!!//_

"Yeah… it's the werewolf guy."

Remus looked at his friend strangely.

//_He's soo sexy! Don't you think so? Especially with that towel around hi waist, I just _

_wanna-_//

Sirius blushed

"What do you mean 'don't I think so'??? I'm a *bloke* for Merlin's sake!!!"

//_I want to meet him *sighs*_//

'_Dumb ass_' "You can't! You're invisible!"

//_I'm no dumb ass!!!… Fine… Fine then… be that way…//_

"Hey? Hey! Don't go I'm not finished talking to you. I-" Sirius' mouth closed instantly when 

he saw that both of his fellow marauder's were giving him the 'I-think-we've-lost-him-to-

the-loony-bin-forever' look.

"That's about the only thing you missed Moony, Sirius talking to himself…" James muttered.

"I was not! What about you? Lily waltzes in our dorm, swallows your tongue out for 2 

minutes an a half then leaves! Got an explanation for that?"

James groaned and threw a pillow at Sirius' head.


	3. The Chapter with no Name

A.N. Hey Everybody!!! Sorry for the wait, I was in an exam period at school  and I did not have much time to type my chapter down on the computer. So I'll just skip the author's note and start writing, after saying how I wuv my reviewers sooo much!!!!!!! ^^

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Previous Chapter*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Remus looked at his friend strangely.

//_He's soo sexy! Don't you think so? Especially with that towel around his waist, I just _

_wanna-_//

Sirius blushed.

"What do you mean 'don't I think so'??? I'm a *bloke* for Merlin's sake!!!"

//_I want to meet him *sighs*_//

'_Dumb ass_' "You can't! You're invisible!"

//_I'm no dumb ass!!!… Fine… Fine then… be that way…//_

"Hey? Hey! Don't go I'm not finished talking to you. I-" Sirius' mouth closed instantly when 

he saw that both of his fellow marauder's were giving him the 'I-think-we've-lost-him-to-

the-loony-bin-forever' look.

"That's about the only thing you missed Moony, Sirius talking to himself…" James muttered.

"I was not! What about you? Lily waltzes in our dorm, swallows your tongue out for 2 

minutes an a half then leaves! Got an explanation for that?"

James groaned and threw a pillow at Sirius' head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He dodged the pillow quickly, it's landing mark now being Remus' pile of textbooks and novels. Remus glared at James, got on his knees since bending would've been inappropriate and started re-arranging his books.

"Black! Lupin!"

The yell came from the common room. Remus' head snapped towards his friend, his eyes narrowing. He gave him a questioning look. '_What did Sirius do now? … And why did that person yell *MY***** name?_' His gaze followed Sirius as he proceeded to run frantically around the dorm looking for… for a place to hide apparently…

Sirius stopped for a moment, his gaze meeting Remus'.

"What are you *_doing_* Moony? Come _ON!_ Hide! Unless you have a death wish!"

"But I didn't *_do*_ anything Padfoot!" He answered, taking clothes out of his drawer, carefully selecting the pieces.

"So? It doesn't mean _she_ knows that! It also doesn't help that _both_ our names are-"

"WHAT?"

He didn't need to hear more. He quickly grabbed a pile of clothes, accidentally pulling the drawer out completely, making everything it contained fall to the floor.

'_How the hell did he manage to involve me in another one of his pranks? And why ME? I need to hide somewhere… I need to get some CLOTHES on… The bathroom!_'

He rushed to the dorm bathroom and locked himself in, leaning on the door.

Sirius' head snapped up towards the door.

'_Did he… Was the door… Nooooo… He didn't!!!_'

He got up from under the bed, sneezing because of the dust, and stumbling on the drawer Remus had left on the floor. He rushed to the bathroom, turning the doorknob. It was locked.

'_He did!_'

James watched as his friend started pounding frantically on the door. Forgetting momentarily about Lily and his meeting later on, he let out a wholehearted laugh, one that he hadn't been able to let out for quite some time. His friends qould never cease to amuse him.

"Remus you dolt!!! You want me to get *_murdered*_? You Bloody bastard! Open up this instant!!!"

The girl was now stomping up the stairs, coming unbearably close to their dorm.

"I can't open up Siri!!" He answered in a sing-song voice. "I'm changing!!!" Sirius could practically _hear_ his pal grinning like a moron behind the closed door.

She banged on the door.

"Open up Black! I _know_ you're in there!"

'_Ok, here goes, I'll try anything to survive…_'

Sirius launched himself at the door, fake sobs coming out of him, pleading his _'so called'_ friend.

James was now laughing his head off, breathe ragged, holding his stomach. Sirius Black. Actually '_pleading_' someone. Now that was something. He finally got up from his bed, grabbing his cloak and putting it over Sirius' head.

"You know Sirius, she is gonna come barging in here at any moment so just stay there, I'll try to persuade her to leave… or forgive you and kiss your fears away."

Sirius pulled the cloak off his head and glared at his friend.

"You wouldn't dare…" He said, trying to act menacing, but failing miserably, looking more like a beat up puppy.

//_Actually, I think that he would gladly…_//

"You're back!"

"Shut up!" James pulled the cloak back over Sirius' head, making him disappear again.

Marie Day came in the dorm, her cheeks red with anger and her light brown hair flowing around her face, sticking up in the air due to static. Sirius' heart lurched. He was scared and content at the same time. Scared that she would beat the living pulp out of him and content to be able to see her reaction.

//_Isn't that girl pretty?_//

'_Yeah…_' thought Sirius. His eyes then widened in realisation. He had just admitted to… that person… that he thought Maria was _pretty_…

//_Ooooh, Isn't this going to be fun!_//

Sirius smashed his head on the bathroom door repeatingly, silently… Or so he thought. Suddenly he felt cold air as the cloak was lifted off of him. He opened his eyes to find himself staring directly into someone else's. Maria's. He gulped.

"Hello Darling…"

"Don't you '_darling_' me you prat! You think that trick was funny! Oh and don't try to make Remus take all the blame, Black. I know he wasn't in for it!!!" Sirius' eyes softened.

'_She never calls *_me*_ by my first name…_'

//_Jealous?_//

"Not at all!!!!!" Maria looked at him, puzzled. Sirius blushed.

"Well, Padfoot, mate… I have to go, meeting with Brain"

Sirius sent James a flabbergasted look.

"You're leaving me here with _her_!!!"

//_Don't sound so desperate_//

"Really sorry Padfoot!" he said, walking towards the door.

"Lily is probably waiting for me downstairs, adios mate!"

James chuckled, leaving the dorm room with only Maria and Sirius in it. Sure, Remus was still in the bathroom but he wasn't ready to get out of there yet. And Maria would probably have her way with Padfoot so he wouldn't be able to leave yet. Lily was waiting for him in the common room, arms crossed over her chest, grinning.

"Seems Maria has joined Black…" she told him.

James grinned.

"Yeah, and seems that Sirius won't be coming down soon… so… should we go?"

There was an awkward silence between the two.

Lily closed her eyes and smiled.

"I am pretty hungry, I guess it's not use waiting for our friends for breakfast."

She started walking towards the painting. James stood there, looking at her retreating form.

"Wait up!" he said, sprinting at her, passing her and stepping out of the common room first.

Lily giggled and started to run too. The two finally reached the great hall, laughing and out of breath. James blushed as she hugged him. The entered the dining hall and went to sit down at the Gryffindor table. About half an hour later, Remus, Sirius, Maria and Valerie came down to breakfast.

They sat down around their friends and started gathering food on their plates. James, sitting in front of Lily, had not acknowledged their presence yet and kept speaking with her. Sirius looked at Remus and grinned.

But Lily had caught sight of that grin and turned towards him.

"Black, seems that you're alive. I see that Maria has taken care to not damage you too much."

//_Let's just say that not much harm was done_//

"There wasn't much damage involved Lily" said Remus, earning a smack behind the head from his friend.

_'God he's almost as bad as that damn conscience is!'_

//_teehee_//

Sirius banged his head repeatedly on the table, his eyes closed, groaning. Maria pushed her plate full of food in front of him and his head landed in it, hair and face getting squished in the lovely breakfast mix.

Sirius lifted his head slowly, spitting out the food that had managed to enter his mouth.

"Eww…"

Valerie laughed, ruffling Remus' hair making him blush.

James laughed. Sirius took his right hand and took the food off of his face.

"Prongs?" He asked.

"Hmm?"

Sirius leaned over the table and spread the breakfast mush all over his face.

"PADFOOT!!!!" By now the whole gang was laughing but Remus, Lily, Maria and Valerie had been sure to move out of reach of the two boys before their projectiles would touch them.

Carlos Rickleman, a 7th year Ravenclaw, came over to Lily just as she was getting up from the table. Draping his arm over her shoulders, he leaned in closer to her.

"Hey Evans, want to go out with me on the next hogsmeade weekend?"

He had been hinting to her for the past week that he was interesting in her. But Lily had been doing her best to avoid him. Unfortunately, it seemed that he had gotten a hold of her this morning, and unlucky for him, James was currently watching him.

Lily could practically _feel_ the jealousy boiling inside her companion. Slowly, she moved away from his grasp, turning around to face him.

"Sorry Carlos, I'm not available that weekend…"

Valerie lifted and eyebrow. Obviously, Lily had forgotten to mention to her friends that she had somehow gotten herself into a relationship with her former enemy.

"Oh, then…" He said, trying to get closer to her again.

"When will you be available?"

"Not for a very long time Carlos… well… I don't think so…" she answered back, a slight blush tinting her cheeks. James got up from the table sharply, trying to appear calm. Sirius looked at Remus.

"Since when did James get so over-protective with one of his girlfriends?" he asked him.

"Never…" Remus answered, getting up also and following Valerie to the Library.

"I'll see you later at lunch Padfoot, Valerie and I plan on studying for the transfiguration exam coming up. We'll probably be occupied all morning.

Sirius wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Are you sure that you'll _only_ be _studying_???"

Remus smacked him behind the head. Sirius, pretending to feign hurt, started pretend-weeping onto Maria's shoulder.

Lily said her good byes to her friends, saying that she had some reading to catch up on in the tower and left for the common room. James merely said anything, following her.

Sirius simply looked at his friend going away, Maria pulling at his hair.

"What in the world are you trying to do Maria Day?!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey guys! Soo long since the last chapter I know… And I'm really sorry about it too, I am still waiting for a few more e-mails for the disease explanation so that may be why you haven't got your e-mail explaining it(to those who left it to me) Again, thanks soo much for reviewing, can you believe that I'm at 160???? You guys rock my world!!! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!!

And.. I know that this chapter wasn't that long, but I did my best ok? THANKS SOO MUCH!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

**_Review answers_**

_Boy-Crazy Bookworm_: lolll, I freaked you out because of the towel thingy, fun-ny!!! Thanx!

_Erynwen_: You love fluff??? Ô_o.. lolll yes well, Sirius is just weird like that, I love it too!! Thx for reviewing!

_Ruth3_: YAYYAYAY!!!! Could I see that you're a faithful reviewer!!! I wuv u soo much heheyes, the voice is random, but, had to put something weird in my story hehe thx for da review!

_Louna_: what do you mean, shame one me !(ma ten faire moi des shame!!!) merci pour le review… pitchounette(LMAO!!!!!!)

_MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus _: You know how long your name is to write? Telling you something, im not telling you if he dies or not bwahahahahahahahahaha thx for reviewing ^^'

_Anaii_: The e-mail won't be long, I promise, for now, I'm just posting this thx for the review!!! ^^

_Whichwitch2_: again, thx for the review, and the email wont be long! Hehe, you like my story cool!

_Gryffspopgurl_: yay! You reviewed again! thx soo much, and yes, the email wont be long ^^'

_DeoxyriboNucleic Acid_: Wow what a name hehe, had to look at it 3 times to write it correctly! It's compatible with OOTP? Ô_o… o_Ô are you INSANE!! Dominatrix fantasies LMAO!!! I LVOED YOUR REVIEW! But really… you must joking about the ootp thing… thx for reviewing though!!!

_Jaqueline Black_: HERE THE UPDATE!! Hehehe ^^ thx for the review!

_Stepha-Lah_: lollll *drools with you* I love remus also hehehe ^^' I'm not sure if I read your story or not, but in case I didn't, I'll go have a peek at it real soon! Hehe if I did, it's probably after I answered my reviews lollll thx for the review!!!

_XxGREENBAYxx_: thx for the review, means a lot to me !!!

_Wisher_: your review simply had me CRACKING UP!!! LOLLL It's not marlin, it's merlin, you know, like instead of saying 'oh god' they go 'oh merlin'… and lol, the person inside sirius' head is his conscience.  Lolll I just loved your review.. thx soo much you made my day when I read it ^^

_CarameLisSa_: you read that aprt,,, it was way long ago, and never reviewed before now*cries* lolll well yes, ill send thim email just before I post the other chapter, promise thx for the review!!!

_Oorjit_: lolllll, now **_THAT_**, you have to figure on your own ^^'

_Lady J._: you love it ***squeals in glee*** coooollll thx for the review!!!

_Trashcan_: yes, email soon, hehehe thx for the review again!!!!!

_Mrs prongs_: you just had me cracking up with your review lolll, and you know, I can't give up much information here on this answer but… I promise you'll like the end of this story, ok? So it,s safe for you to continue reading ok? Loll thx for the review!!!!!!!!

_Ashley_: well written?? WOWO YOUR LIKE THE FIRST ONE TO TELL ME THAT *cries in bliss* and its one of your favs,,, *dies in bliss* lollllllll thank yooouuuuuuuu

_Miranda_: I loved that sentence too, hehe thx for the review!!

_Sports-girl_: wouahhhhhhh tu parles le francais pit keske tu fais en train de lire ma fic en anglais lollllll ouais je viens de kebec mais moi je viens de ste anne des plaine hehe,, pour la voix de sirius, ben c'Est sa concience… hehe bon je vais tenvoyer un e-mail car tu me las demander pour ce update, amuse toi et  si tu vx me parler sur msn, mon email ke je prend le plus c'Est wheredidalltherumgo@hotmail.com bon merci pour le review tes trop gentille!!!!

_Super Flying Monkey _: thx for the review!!!!!!!

_Puppy of Doom_: *tear in corner of eye* best story you ever read, no jokes?????? Woowwwww I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*cries in bliss*

_Agloechen_: asap! Hehe thx for the review!!!!

_RoCkEr PrInCeSs_: you think im funny? COOLLL LOLLL thx sooo much ^^

_Kitty_: you've been checking every day????????? WOW!  Right? Right ? RIGHT? LOLLL im not telling ya!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA thx soo much for the review!!!!!!!!!!

_Kat!!!_: thx soo much for the review!!!! Soo cooll!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW OVER 25 REVIEWS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***Cries***

~Amalia Lupin

^^


	4. Krista and James

Author's Note : Hey Everybody!!!!! It's me again, well, how are you guys? OMG! Ma report 

card was soooo *stares* I can't believe that I passed with such a passable note! Lolllll. Well, I 

had promised another chapter, and, here it is, I am starting to write this a few days after I 

posted my last one so, I'm considering this a good update lollll. Thx to all of the people who 

reviewed, And, Even if you don't review, readers, please leave at least, lets say, A note in 

percentage(%) to tell me how 'ok' this fic is? Thanks you… ^^Well, on with the story now! 

*does a magnificent bow**falls**gets back up again* By the way, here is a special notice to 

the 26 people who put me on their favourite author's, thx soooooo much and here is a second 

special

NOTICE: for those that had asked for a detailed e-mail about the marcuriust disease, I have 

decided instead to integrate it's explanation in this fanfic, so sorry if I made you wait for the e-

mail, but you will finally get to read it. And if you still don't understand, please let me know. 

Disclaimer: Realised, that I did not put a disclaimer in my other chappies, oh well… Everything 

you recognize belongs in the world the J.K. herself invented. Everything else you see is what I 

took out of that world and messed up with my own hands!

-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-

Previous Chapter:

"I'll see you later at lunch Padfoot, Valerie and I plan on studying for the transfiguration exam 

coming up. We'll probably be occupied all morning.

Sirius wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Are you sure that you'll _only_ be _studying_???"

Remus smacked him behind the head. Sirius, pretending to feign hurt, started pretend-

weeping onto Maria's shoulder.

Lily said her good byes to her friends, saying that she had some reading to catch up on in the 

tower and left for the common room. James merely said anything, following her.

Sirius simply looked at his friend going away, Maria pulling at his hair.

"What in the world are you trying to do Maria Day?!"

-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-.-~+°'*'°+~-

Chapter 4

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Maria tugged harder at his hair, plucking a few out. She then opened a small satchel made out 

of velvet and put the hairs in. Sirius stared at her. Seeing that she wasn't answering, he 

plucked the satchel out of her hands and dangled it in the air, out of her reach.

"Give it back Black!"

"Why were you ripping the hair off of my beautiful head?" he asked, annoyed.

_//Beautiful, but empty…//_

'_Oi, shut up you!'_

Maria looked up at him angrily, lifting her hands up, trying to grab the small sac out of his 

grasp. Sighing, she stopped hopping, putting both of her hands behind her back. Suddenly, Sirius felt an invisible force bringing his arms down to his sides. Maria smiled and snatched the 

sac away from him, planting a small kiss on his lips at the same time.

//_Bwaha! She kissed you again!_//

"Shut your bloody mouth" Sirius grumbled.

~

James and Lily were walking side by side, up to the Gryffindor tower. It was pretty awkward. 

Lily could feel James being tense. When they arrived at the tower, he turned around to face 

her, jealousy still evident in his eyes.

"Look James, I'm sorry I-"

"I… I shouldn't be jealous, I know, I just can't help it!"

Lily smiled softly and entered the common room.

"We still have about 3 hours before we have to meet Brian, what do you want to do?"

James had his hand on the wall, supporting himself.

"I'm pretty tired, I think that I'll go take a nap… And… don't you have homework to catch up 

on?" said James.

Lily looked at him, searching his face. Sensing that nothing was really wrong, she simply 

nodded. She had already took her transfiguration books out and was stressing over some 

essay that she had to write. James put his hand on her shoulder, she looked at him.

"Need some help with that?"

As soon as she nodded, he sat down beside her on the couch, bringing his legs up to his chest. 

He was shivering and Lily noticed, but she didn't say anything. Maybe he was just a little cold. 

After about 45 minutes, she was re-reading her essay out loud, testing out if the words and 

sentences sounded right when she felt a pressure on her left shoulder. She turned her head 

and saw that James had fallen asleep. Smiling, she took out the book that she was currently 

reading and with her right hand, twirling the small heart medallion that lay around her neck.

Opening the medallion, she passed her thumb over the picture that resided inside it, music 

pouring softly from it. It was a soft melody, soothing to the ear. After listening to it for a few 

minutes, she closed it with a snap and looked at her watch, 15 minutes left. Time had flied by. She looked at James. He was still sleeping, his head on her shoulder. Too bad that he hadn't the force right now. Lily was pretty sure that he would've loved to go practice for quidditch or simply fly around on his broom. But he couldn't take any chances. And instead of being with his friends he had stayed with her.

Lily shook James slightly, waking him up.

"Mr. Potter, we have to see Dr. Ryans."

He rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"It's morning already?" He asked, snuggling closer to Lily. She grabbed him by the hair, not too roughly, pushing him a bit away so that she could get up. When she let him go, James falling down face first into the couch where Lily had been sitting, there were a few strands of hair left in her hand. James lifted his head up once more, yawning. They both got up, Lily passing her hands over her skirt, trying, in vain, to fix the folds. The walk to the hospital wing was silent. Not an awkward silence, more of a comfortable one. When both teenagers reached the hospital wing, Dr. Ryans was already there, waiting for them at the entrance. He brought them to the office that had been magicked up for him. Lily looked at him, he wasn't smiling. He looked pretty down about what he had on his mind. James and Lily sat down in two of the chairs occupying the room. Dr. Ryans sat behind his desk, his elbows on it, his fingers intertwined.

"You must know that this is very important. I would have made you come earlier but I had to 

think a few… a lot of things over. Before I start, I must simply say that everything said in this 

room will have to stay in this room. I don't want rumours being spread. All three of us know 

about James' sickness…"

James lowered his gaze.

"Lily, since you found out, I don't know how you did but, you have to know every detail. 

Details that only I and my aid nurses know." James lifted his head at that. What did Brian 

mean?

"First of all, Miss Lily, do you know much about the Marcuriust disease?"

"Only that it's one of the most deadliest wizard diseases…" '_And a few side effects_' she 

thought.

"Well, this particular disease could be compared to muggle cancer, or a tumour. It is 

extremely rare and attacks mostly only wizards. Very few witches throughout the whole 

magical History have been affected. What it does is that it attacks the magical blood that flows 

in the wizard's veins. In known Wizard History, only a few people have been marked by that 

awful disease. If we count on a span of 100 years, only 4 wizards have had it. On a span of 

1000 years, 1 witch. The life span is undetermined because the disease is not present enough 

to determine exactly how many years in general a person can live without any cure. One 

wizard lived for 3 months, one for 2 years, one for a few days after it was diagnosed with the 

disease... The longest a wizard has ever lived is 5 to 6 years. James has been stuck with the 

deadly virus since he was 11 years old. So technically, It's been 6 years now. Nobody is sure 

when James will be let go. That is why I was brought here with Sarah, Olivia and Kathy. They 

are researchers that are currently working on finding a cure and more information on the 

disease. Are you following me up to now? I had started to explain to you the other day"

Lily nodded her comprehension.

'_Brian seems to speak with Lily a bit too much_' thought James.

"Well, Since you will be probably around James more than usually, I will have to inform you of 

many more things. James, if you may please leave, simply for a moment. These are only care 

procedures. Go rest a while, Miss Lily will come back to you soon enough."

Seeing James' face, he smiled.

"I am not kidnapping your girlfriend Potter, I am merely telling her how to take care of you. I 

know that you are capable of doing that on your own, but if something must happen, you 

must at least have some suitable help."

~

James nodded and walked out of his office. He walked out towards the Forest. He really 

needed to speak to Krista. When he reached the clearing, Krista was already hovering over the 

small crystal watered pond, waiting for him.

"Hey James!" She smiled sweetly, walking down invisible stairs to float over the ground, her 

feet an inch from the grass. She wished she could hug him. Oh how she missed her older brother. James walked to the pond. Her smile faded away. Something did not feel right. Something _about_ her brother. He had somehow… changed… somewhat…

"You changed Jamesie… What's wrong?"

~

"Lily, James is getting weaker by the day. And you know it. You have seen the numerous 

bruises that lay on his body. His hair has probably started to fall a bit. It is normal at this 

stage. Soon, or maybe he already is experiencing it, he will get dizziness spells. He could 

easily faint. Any heavy emotions can affect him. He may have some trouble walking or holding 

onto things. I want you to know a few spells to give him strength.

"But what if I don't remember. What If I panic? I might not be able to do this, to be able to 

watch over someone that carefully! Why have you chosen me? Why Not Sarah, or Kathy, or 

Olivia?!"

"You are the one at the moment that James trusts the most. Of course there are his friends 

but we can both agree on the fact that you are much more fit for that job. Why, you have 

even replaced Pomfrey for the while that she was gone. She is now on permanent vacation for 

the year though, seeing that Dumbledore has explained to her the current situation."

"What are the other effects that James can experience?"

"He could get a heart attack."

~

James looked at his sister. What did she mean. Inside he was still the same James Potter, just… weaker.

"I… changed?"

Krista frowned, nodding. '_Can't you see it James, I miss you, and you don't seem to notice! Oh what happened…_'

"Yes, Jamesie, you are getting worse aren't you? You don't come to see me as often as before, 

is it because you're sick? Is something wrong" Her voice was calm. As much as she loved her brother, she would rather him be here with her, all of the time, not having fun outside. So that meant that if anything was wrong, he should be able to tell her.

James thought about it for a while. It was true, It _had_ been a while since he had last seen 

Krista… But, he hadn't felt _that_ bad… Except that he had spent a lot of time thinking about 

Lily. A sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. It stayed there, not going away. His head 

swooned.

"I've been with Lily." He said without thinking. The air around him turned chilly. He looked at 

Krista, not really expecting any reaction.

"…Li-ly…?" She said forcefully. Her voice was strained and the words sounded painful. A tear as clear as the water in the pond below trickled down the skin on her cheek. But it was invisible to the human eye. Humans couldn't see spirits cry. They shouldn't.

"What is that girl to you James?"

"I love her."

~

"A… a heart attack? But you did not say that he was _that_ weak!" He heart was beating fast. 

Realisation dawned on her. He could die, at any given moment. James could lose his _life_ and 

when that would happen, she would be the one supposed to help him. If James would ever die 

with her being there, the rest of her life would be filled with guilt. It was such a great 

responsibility. Brian wanted _her_ to take that on? Was he sure? Did James even trust her 

enough for her to be able to handle his life like that?

"I know Lily, but it could happen! I have one question though, What is Mr. Potter for you Lily?"

She seemed to think for a while. What was _James_ to her? She had fancied him long ago. And now, realising that he could be gone forever, she needed him more than anything, as much as he needed her at the moment.

"I love him."

~

"You… love her?" James nodded.

Krista's voice grew louder a little. She approached her brother, trying to touch him, in vain. She brought her hand back.

"But Jamesie! Do you realise that you're going to _die_?????"

He looked at her. How could his little sister say that. Tears had sprung in his eyes.

"Don't you think that I **_KNOW_**??? I've always fancied Lily and never had the courage to tell her anything! I've never wanted to. I knew that I was going to die soon. I KNOW that I won't live for long. But. She came to me. I couldn't just tell her not to approach me, to leave me alone. I would've hated myself for doing it Krista! I would've _loathed_ myself for ignoring those feelings. The same ones that reside inside me since I met her. She _knows_ that I'm going to die, though she doesn't want to believe it. She won't want to leave me! I've _told_ her!"

"James! You're the person that I loved, I still do, the most in this whole world! You are my 

older brother, my guardian. I thought that If I would lose you I would die! And I did, and now 

you're going to also! I love you too much to make others suffer because of your sickness. 

Think about that girl's feelings. If she loves you back, won't her heart break when she loses 

you. Just like your heart broke when I was gone? Won't you destroy anything good that she has left. If she loves you she will live the rest of her life in misery _because_ of you. You don't want that for her do you?"

"You…" James did not know what to say… He was panting, yelling hadn't been the greatest thing to do at the moment. His heart was beating too fast, he had to calm down.

"I'm right Jamesie, As long as you live, you can't love anyone, you'll end up breaking them…"

'_As long as you live dear brother… Since I can't have you, no one else will… I will make sure of _

_it…'_

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Heyyyy!!!!! Now that wasn't too long now was it? I hope that it wasn't. Well, it took me more 

than a few days to do this but, I've been busy, like usual. I hope that you liked this chapter. I 

actually wrote most of it today. Everything seemed to flow. Well, at the beginning, I had asked 

for you to leave in your review, a note in percentage (%) about how ok you thought this fic 

was. What do you think will happen, anyone have any doubts about the next chapters. Well. I 

will answer the fabulous incredible people who actually take their time to review(If fanfiction 

lets me see my damn reviews!), I love you guys!

_Erynwen _: The *most* original? Loll, you must be kidding, there are WAY more original fics 

out there! But I love your reviews all the same, my chapter-meddling confuzzled you? Well, It 

was because there were supposed to be together in the first place, that's all lolll, thx for your 

review, you are FABULOUS!

_Holly-Evans_:cool you love my fic!!! ^^ thx for your review **and** the review you left for the first 

chappie!

_x2hOt2HanDLex65_: your thanking me for updating lolll well I thank you for your review!!! 

Sorry to have made you wait for the e-mail, hope that for now, what was in this chapter was 

ok?

_Agloechen_: more more more loll well here is more, tank yoouuuu ^^ and… what does your 

name mean? *curious*

_Warrior of the Night_: Hey Lady J!!! *wouhoouuu it rimes* thank YOU for your review!!!

_Louna_: The conscience will appear later on, don't worry ^^ and you story is sooo ot 

interesting attend, ma ecrire a francias ca va mieux pour chialer SI TU DIS QUE TON 

HISTOIRE EST PAS INTERESSANTE JE VAIS TETRIPER TAS COMPRIS PIS NON JVX PAS ME 

BATTRE SUR CE SUJET PARCEQUE JE SAIS QUE JE VAIS GAGNER DE TOUTE FACON!!! Thank 

you lollll for your review.

_CarameLisSa_: lolll no your not confusing, really, I have confusing friends AND I AM confusing, 

so I understand you… :s… lollll well, thx for your review, about the e-mail thingy, never mind 

lol, it is not in this chappie, was it ok? Thx! Wuv you!

_Mandyzcool_: good sad and sweet… cool! More is here! Thx for your review!

_DeoxyriboNucleic Acid_ : i guess, thx for your review. I HAD understood the ootp thingy, but 

this I don't understand** 'P.S. It didn't take *me* three times to check for the spelling to **

**get my name OR your name correct. *Arrogant laugh*  
  
**

***Coughs violently*'** what did THAT mean?

_Super Flying Monkey_: loll hi!!! How are you? Lol, thx for your review, your funny! ^^

_Gryffspopgurl_: of course james was healthy, but it wouldn't be fanfiction if we went by the 

story line all the time! Thx 4 ur review!!! You are soo good to me lolll

_MegHarts_: yes, cute jealous James lollll update, for you! Lol, update here! *delivery express* 

thx 4 da review!

_eViL-sMuRfIeS_: re-reading? Ô_o… o_Ô loll you would actually reread this??? You musthave 

fallen on your head, its not THAT good! And Wow.. I really AM on your favs ! Coolll thx soo 

muucchhh!!!!!!!!!! 4 the review too! ^^

_carry_: sorry for that wait I really am!!!!! How did you like the last chapter? And this one? Thx 

for your review!

_Buffy the chosen one_: You changed your name? Cool wow, you used awesome a lot… 

AWESOME!!! U love my story, I love your reviews, isn't it cute lmao!!! Ok ok… im tired. Thx 2 

ur review!!!

**WOUHOUUUUUU 15 reviews!!! Loll. Totally awesome! I love you guys! Pleas pleas **

**PLEASSSSSEEEEEE leave me a review, and don't forget My questions(like the % **

**thingy) THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!**

*flies away* *sees Louna who bows and falls into water**laughs*

~Amalia Lupin


	5. Spirit

**Author's note**: Hey! I'm back, Yes, I am! And I am here with the fifth chapter. I wasn't sure whether my last chapter was ok or not but according to the wonderful reviews that I received I guess it was. This chapter is more concentrated on Lily than James. And more on the fact that Krista hates Lily's guts.

**Explanation**: Since Krista is a spirit(not really an angel, more of a spirit, but not a ghost either) she can possess living creatures. This will be useful to know for the future chapters.

**Disclaimer**_: Everything that J.K. Rowling invented is hers. Everything I have invented is mine. No touchy._

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**Previous Chapter**

"You…" James did not know what to say… He was panting, yelling hadn't been the greatest thing to do at the moment. His heart was beating too fast, he had to calm down.

"I'm right Jamesie, As long as you live, you can't love anyone, you'll end up breaking them…"

'_As long as you live dear brother… Since I can't have you, no one else will… I will make sure of _

_it…'_

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**Chapter 5**

"I guess that I should go find him Dr. Ryans…" said Lily. Something wasn't feeling right. Ever since James had left.

It seemed as if she was feeling something strange going on around her, and inside her mind. Brian mentioned for

her that she could leave and immediately she headed towards the forbidden forest. Her footsteps quickened.

Maybe James had went back in it. Maybe he would come back out the same way as he did the last time. Right

now wasn't the best moment for him to be weaker than he already was. And the air outside was cold, not

freezing but cold enough for her feet to feel numb. She walked at a quick pace, burying her fingers inside the

sleeves of her robe, warming them up. Letting out a shuddered breath, she entered the forest. Everything

seemed colder and darker when walking beneath the massive trees. And darkness was around the corner, the sky

losing it's light blue and orange colour, leaving place for a thick veil of blackness. _This isn't right, it's only about _

_noon, it shouldn't be this dark. Maybe he isn't at the pond after all…_ she thought, but still, she kept on walking.

Her steps were awkward on the familiar ground. She knew her way around this part of the forest, she had been

there numerous times. Then why did it seem so particularly strange? As if something was missing… or maybe as if

something else was there that wasn't supposed to be. She sighed heavily, her breathe coming out in a small

extended white cloud. It really _was_ getting colder by the minute. She turned around, walking back towards where

she had been coming, but it seemed as if the trees had moved. The scenery had changed, nothing was the

same. And there was a shadow lurking around that chilled her to the bone. _Am I lost? _She thought. She turned

around again. Narrowing her eyes, trying to see through the mass of trees and darkness. She could barely see

her own hands in front of her. The wind was blowing and it was freezing. Then, she felt something warm be

blown in her neck. Without taking her time to think she started running, her breathe heavy. It couldn't be normal,

she couldn't of felt something so warm come out of thin air when the wind was that cold. She was completely

lost. Nothing was following her, but she felt something, as if it was stuck on her. And it wouldn't leave her alone.

She ran even faster. It was grabbing onto her, pulling at her skin, but still, she felt nothing. It was as if that

invisible force, was really invisible. That she could feel what it _wanted_ to do to her. That it was actually doing it

but not actually touching her. And it felt worse than any physical pain. She couldn't speak, her mouth had been

shut close and she couldn't open it. Something was keeping it closed.****_LET ME GO!!!_ She stumbled on her robes,

clutching at the invisible force that was sticking to her. She felt the warm breathe on her neck again, and her

skin prickled. Lily ran with all her might but she couldn't see straight, her vision was a blur, everything was

turning around. The trees seemed to move, the leaves seemed to reach out to tangle her with them. The ground

didn't feel nor look stable. She was getting dizzy, her head was light. She felt something surround her neck.

Hands. And not the kind of hands that a grown man would have, they were small and delicate. And the touch

wasn't unpleasant. But they started to squeeze. Lily stopped running, her hands immediately reaching those

around her neck as she tried to pry them off of her. Her breathe was being cut off, she couldn't breathe. Panic

overwhelmed her. She needed to breathe. Her face whitened as the grip was getting stronger. Lily couldn't get

the force to go away. She stumbled down, landing on her knees. She hurt, she couldn't get to breathe. _I need to _

_let someone know I'm here!_ Forcing her mouth open, she screamed with all of the energy that she had left.

Remus had chosen a table near one of the windows facing the forest. His nose was buried deeply in his

transfiguration book. He really needed to catch up on those lessons that he had missed about a week ago. His

senses were still alert since the full moon hadn't been that far away. Valerie was speaking with the librarian. He

_had_ wanted to come to the library with Valerie to be able to speak with her, but it seemed that it wasn't the

best place. Too many distractions. Finally, after what seemed… and probably had been more than an hour, she

came back with a pile of books, letting them fall carefully on the table. Sitting down opposite of Remus, she

smiled at him and took the first book that was on the pile. Sighing, Remus put his elbow on the table, placing his

chin in the palm of his right hand. He looked out the window, thinking. His thoughts hadn't been on the

transfiguration work. Suddenly, he perked up, worry filling his eyes at an incredible speed. Valerie looked at him.

Never had she seen him express so much emotion. Remus looked around the library, standing up, both hands

firmly on the table.

"Is there… something wrong Remus?" She asked, not quite sure of what to say exactly.

"I'll be back later on…" he said, leaving his books and material on the table, rushing towards the door.

"But!"

"Don't wait for me!" he yelled, making Madame Pince scowl on his way out. He had heard someone scream. He knew he had. But it seemed almost impossible. It had been a whole week ago since his last transformation but his senses were still incredibly alert. The yell still echoed in his mind as if he was currently hearing it. It had been desperate, a plea for anybody around to come and help. The wolf inside him urged to come out. He felt like running on all fours to be able to get to that person faster. The awful need to be able to run like he did on every single full moon harassed him. It was almost painful, as if he could feel his bones crack and his flesh mend into new. It felt like that every now and then the two first weeks after the transformation. The wolf hated being trapped inside when he knew that not long ago he had already been let out. He reached the grounds and automatically his senses brought him to the forest. He sniffed the air. James. His scent was very present. Was he in any kind of danger? He ran to the clearing, James was sitting down at the pond, touching the water with his hand. He was speaking with some ghostly girl. _She tells me something_ thought Remus. His breathing was heavy from having ran that fast. He approached slowly, his hair being tossed to the side. Looking up at the sky, he saw that part of it was covered in black, as if the night had partly scattered over a certain area of the forest. His gaze went back to that girl. She was looking straight at him, her eyes narrowed. Remus did not like the look on that girl's face. She felt vaguely familiar. Then suddenly, it came to him. Krista. He had never like James' younger sibling much. He had known James for quite a while before Hogwarts ever started and even thought he had managed to hide his darker side to his friend and his family, Krista had somehow figured it out. Oh, she was sweet and nice looking, like a perfect little angel with normal cute kid flaws. But somehow, without really being able to explain it, Remus had never actually took any kind of liking to the girl. At her young age, she had numerously threatened to spill out his secret if he didn't leave James alone. She was jealous before, and apparently, still was now considering the aura that surrounded the female phantom right now. Jealousy was detected easily by Remus, and he felt it every time he was in the same room as the two siblings. Apparently, It was sometimes worse when Sirius was around. But he had only found out about that in first year when had finally met the black heir. Of course, he had heard of him before he entered Hogwarts by James, but had never had the chance to meet him. Therefore he had mostly been alone with James, but not really, Krista was always hanging around them. And as soon as she and the young werewolf were alone in a room her eyes would shoot daggers at him. She plainly hated him. It was as simple as that. And Frankly, he hated her too, thought he never mentioned that particular detail to anyone. He never had up to now either. She hated the fact that whenever James had Remus over he would ignore her. It wasn't the same when Sirius was around though, he had heard from his pal in first year while discussing sibling rivalry. James and Sirius had always considered themselves la brothers, therefore, Sirius had always considered Krista his little sister. At least when he was over, James would not ignore her, she could have a least a bit of his attention. But their relationship bothered her greatly. She had drawn many pictures portraying her brother lovely drawn accompanied with Sirius and a wolf, most of the time suffering badly, lines drawn crooked, but the rest of the time, dying… Whenever Remus came over she would try to hurt him physically. She couldn't stain his mind, he was older than her, and she did not know him well enough to be able to pain him mentally. She had done almost everything, filled his pillowcases with thumbtacks, pricked needles through his mattress, tripped him down flights of stairs, pushed him in the middle of the road, accidentally dropping sharp knives around him. But, she was cute wasn't she? She was charming and sweet with her lovely long hair, her pretty shining eyes and her angelic features. Her parents never had suspected anything. Remus had thought it normal at first for a little sister to be overbearing his relationship with James. Everything that Remus thought though, had changed drastically the day that Krista had told him that she knew about his full moon activities.

'_Remus, I know what you are, you are disgusting and fowl, you don't belong in this world. You should already be dead. I'll tell everyone about you if you don't leave Remus, and if you stay, I'll kill you, I'll find a way, and I'll kill everyone that stands between me and my brother._'

At first, he did not really take the last part seriously but, looking back on what she had said, and the expression on her face when she had said it haunted him, and he had grown to utterly fear what Krista might one day do. Remus growled while remembering that conversation. He looked in the eyes of the phantom-like girl.

'_Krista, you can't kill me, you're just a small girl._'

James turned around, catching Remus' eye. Krista then spoke up.

"Remember James, Remember what I told you, he's the werewolf James." Remus stopped in his tracks. What was she talking about, he already knew that.

'_If you attempt to tell anyone or kill me Krista, I will kill you_'

'_You will die first you monster!!!_'

James squinted his eyes at his friend.

'_I'm going to… I should… I will say to your parents that exact same words that you are telling me right now!_'

'_I'll deny everything. Who do you think they will believe Remus? A quiet, harmless and charming little girl like I am or… a monster, that threatens to rip that little girl to pieces every time they meet?_'

James seemed dazed, paralysed, hypnotised.

"Moony, what did you do to Lily?"

'_I NEVER SAID THAT KRISTA! THAT'S A LIE!_'

'_They will still believe me!_'

Remus was startled. Lily? He hadn't seen the Gryffindor prefect since breakfast. What could've happened to her? James was near hysterics now.

"I heard her scream Remus, and you're a werewolf aren't you? You are killing her Remus. She is hurting! STOP KILLING HER MOONY!!!"

Krista laughed. James screamed. And something clicked inside Remus' mind. The yell. It had been Lily! He smelled the air, searching for a scent that had no place among the forbidden forest. He turned, he cold feel her. She was far, and she was fading, her scent was diminishing greatly. James had gone mad but he knew that it wasn't his fault. But he also knew that he wouldn't be hurt. Suddenly, Remus couldn't sense Lily anymore… Her aura had disappeared.

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Sooooo???? What did you guys think of this chapter?? Again, It's very short, but I have to make them this way, or else everything would get mixed up. Sorry for the wait, this chapter had been finished quite a while ago but I never got to uploading it. Please leave a review, if Anyone has any comments and such . I totally love you guys! You make my days so cool!!!! I just hope that it wasn't too complicated! So anyways, **PLEASE REVIEW!!!** and again, tell me if you don't like anything and all, but don't be crude and cruel. Thx.

Review Responses:

**Mandyzcool:** Here is the next chapter, thx for leaving a review

**Erynwen:** YAY!!!you're hooked ' wow, you're one of the first to say that you like my _writing_. I love you Thx for your review! happy because you reviewed

**Gryffspopgurl:** Yeah, evil sister… I hater her… yup I hate my very own character! Loved your review thx so much

**Shweta:** hehehehehehehehehe… ok I'm stopping thx for your review '

**Boy-Crazy Bookworm:** It nearly had you in tears??? Wow… well, thx for your review! And keep writing thxxxx!!

**Agloechen:** She's jealous like hell, as you could probably see in this chapter! Wow, you left me such a _long_ review!!! I LOVE YOU hehehe I understood your name(how to say it) because my native language IS French! Actually, I'm a perfect bilingual and wants to learn Spanish and other languages, but Spanish first. So, the French part wasn't difficult hehe, thx for your review, I really appreciated that you took the time to explain and to leave another one hope that you liked this chapter!

**HermioneBallerina:** Um… not sure if I went to se your story but I think I did, if not, just in case, I'll ge re-read it again oK? Thx for your review!!

**Ashley48506:** not really in heaven, krista's more like a kind of spirit, it's just that james THINKS that she's in heaven,,, get it?? Hehe, maybe a bit too confusing my whole story. Oh well, thx for your review, t'was great!!

**Laughing Dragoness:** 95% YOUR SOO COOLLLLLLLLLL hugs thx for your review!!!!!hugs again

**Kitty:** yeah it was pretty fast, but I mena, they've always loved each other, just, never took the time to found out, you know what I mean? Thx so much for your review!! I really liked it!

**Swishy Willow Wand:** another 95% COOLLLLL I lurve you thx!

**Louns:** jte lavais dit que cetait mieux en francais pour chialer lolllll la version demon de sirius va pas etre la tout suite… mais bientôt jte le promet cool tu mas donner 90 %!!!!!!!!! Tu me donnerais combien pour TSQ??? ' bon zy vas MERCI!!!!!!

**Burningice22 :** yeas a real fricken bitch!!! I'm not sure If I read it or not, I'll go read it when I have time I promise!!! Thx sooo much!

**Twilight66:** THX!!! hehe for your review

**MegHarts:** HIII I hate Krista, oh well, I created her. hides I made you wait again huh? I'M SORRY!!!! Do you forgive me?? Thx for leaving a review!

**Super Flying Monkey**: shudders cherry omlets??? EWWW and yeah youre funny eww… cherry omlets…..

**Saripriss:** 78% well… I guess it's still good, though I don't relly know what you thought of it, like your opinions and stuff, if you ever happen to read this chapter, tell me what you think! Thx for your review!!

**Isabele:** It's sad but is it good?? Understandable at least? Thx for your review!!!!! happy

**Sports-girl:** Melanie Lamy right? Jvais ten ecrire un mail, promis, demain p-e ou après demain(demain jfais du ménage) en tout cas, merci full pour ton review!!!!! Chuis contente!

**Buffy the chosen one :** YAYYYY 100% YOUR SOO COOLLL I LURVE YOU hugs thx!

**Trashcan:** ur soo cool you reviewed again! im sorry I couldn't email you, ill try now, thx for your reviews your so cool!

**Sierra Sitruc:** OMG cries you acutally reviewed i was so surprised OMG Wow thx sooo much this mean alot to me

**Ginty the Great:** Hello Tara Star, my house is boring too ;) thx for your review, hope this chapter didn't bore you!

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OMG I GOT 23 REVIEWS!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! PELASE REVIEW THIS ONE THX SOO MUCH!!!!!!!(I know my chapter was shrot, im sowwy)

Amalia


	6. I can't speak

**Author's Note:** Hellooooo!!! I'm sorry, again…. for the long wait, But I've been working now, I've got a summer job and stuff, but now, I'm in two weeks vacation, so I'm trying my best! And I know that my chapter was hard to read because of the formatting, **sorry to everyone**, but my 'word' was having problems and everything fucked up, I couldn't fix it. I hope it's ok now!

**Explanation:** OK, things are kinda taking a weird turn from this chapter on. Events and such will go by faster in the story(a bit rushed I know, but I don't want this to end up over 30 chapters you know. So I'm condensing them a bit, without ruining them)

**Disclaimer**: _Everything that J.K. Rowling invented is hers. Everything I have invented is mine. No touchy._

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Previous Chapter 

****

****

"I heard her scream Remus, and you're a werewolf aren't you? You are killing her Remus. She is hurting! STOP KILLING HER MOONY!!!"

Krista laughed. James screamed. And something clicked inside Remus' mind. The yell. It had been Lily! He smelled the air, searching for a scent that had no place among the forbidden forest. He turned, he cold feel her. She was far, and she was fading, her scent was diminishing greatly. James had gone mad but he knew that it wasn't his fault. But he also knew that he wouldn't be hurt. Suddenly, Remus couldn't sense Lily anymore… Her aura had disappeared.

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His heart started beating faster. Since when did a sickness become so dangerous? But he owed James so much, he could at least help him. And with Voldemort at their traces, life had become dangerous for anyone. And Lily… the only chance that James probably had to live longer, was going. And if Remus lost his friend, one of his best friends, he would literally die everyday. Every morning would pain him. Every morning he would hurt. Every morning he would wake up and relive everything over again. He saw her, she was laying on the floor, and if she was dead, she would cause other's deaths too. Living had become a tangled web, the spun ropes fine between life and death. He grabbed onto her, holding tightly, trying to feel her heart beat.

"LEAVE HER ALONE KRISTA!!!" Laughter. The only thing that he could hear, the only sound that answered his yell was laughter. And the little girl's laughter froze his blood. She was there, he could feel it. But he couldn't do anything about it. Not in his human form. For the first time in his life, his golden eyes changed. He had to be able to see her spirit. They changed from their deep rich colour to a crystal green, hints of the midnight blue sky, clear and reflecting the moon. The pain was there, but he was still human. The wolf was helping him! And he could see her, he growled.

"POTTER!" someone yelled. Remus turned around. It was Brian, he had come! Krista had also heard, and she was leaving.

"You won't get away with this Krista…" he whispered harshly, hovering over Lily, checking her breathing. His eyes were still shining. He still had the wolf's blood running freely through his veins. He willed it away, but it stayed there. He picked her up, bringing her slowly.

"Leave her, Lupin." The voice was rough, harsh and irritated. He lifted his head up. It had started raining. His hair was hanging loosely in front of his eyes.

"It's ok Potter, Remus is only helping her."

"Look at his eyes Brian." Remus gasped. James thought him responsible! Krista had actually achieved one of her goals! He held on tighter to Lily. He wanted to prove that he was helping, that he had done nothing wrong. He looked at Brian, his now blue eyes shining with all their might through the rain. He saw James take his wand out of his pocket.

"NO! I-" Choking, he fell back down. James had cursed him. He couldn't believe it. He had hurt him, deliberately, and his eyes had never showed so much hatred and anger towards him either. He fell down to his knees, clutching his stomach.

"James…" He croaked.

"I trusted you Lupin, I trusted you but you tried to kill Lily…" Brian hadn't looked back at the werewolf in the eyes, he couldn't, feeling betrayed himself. Picking Lily up, he left. And James followed, leaving Remus outside alone, in the rain. He saw his former best-friend fall to the ground, coughing blood, and he turned away. Brian looked at him one last time, just to see his eyes change back to their golden honey colour before closing in abandon.

Everything was silent… No… there was the sound of the rain pouring down, but he couldn't even feel the drops on his face. Remus stayed still as numerous images and thoughts carried across his mind. He had been helping, only helping. How could James do this to him, he did not understand at all! He couldn't believe that he had left him. Remus tried to get up but in vain. Not knowing what spell James had threw on him, he cursed. Brian could've taken it off at least! He _was_ a doctor. But still, Remus couldn't move, he stayed lying there at a few meters from the entrance of the forest, hidden by the trees.

Sirius was walking the corridors with Peter, coming back from the kitchens, as usual, when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Mr. Black… would you mind helping me?" The doctor asked. His eyes widening in surprise, he leapt from where he was standing and took Lily in his arms.

"Don't hurt her Bl-Sirius" menaced James. Raising an eyebrow at his friend, he swallowed the last piece of food that he had been eating and stared at him.

"James, why would I hurt your Lily-kins?" He then looked at Brian. He could see that James wasn't in his right state of mind. Peter stood beside his friend as Sirius and Brian were walking in front of them, towards the infirmary. Peter shrieked.

"There's a light coming out of James!" he yelled as the aforementioned boy fell to the ground. Brian walked calmly up to him. Sirius grew aggravated.

"It doesn't mean that even if he hasn't got any longer to live that you can take your precious little time to help him you know!"

_Remus probably knows what the light was. Remus would know what to do if… if he would've been here… where is he anyways?_ Thought Sirius. Brian didn't answer.

"If Remus would've been here, you would have gotten a lecture… but nooooo Remus is never there when I'm not the one who does something wrong…" Sirius muttered under his breathe.

Brian looked at him.

"I highly doubt that Mr. Lupin would be in any condition at the moment to give anyone a lecture Mr. Black." He told him icily. Sirius narrowed his eyes once more. Something in Brian's voice indicated worry. And also irritation. The Doctor and Peter took James by the arms and brought him to the infirmary. Sirius looked at Lily. Her eyes were half way open.

"Watch… Krista…" her whisper was barely audible. Sirius ran towards the hospital wing. As soon as he entered it, he put her down gently on one of the beds, covering her up.

"I'll be back Lily… It won't be long" _I hope…_

And, gathering his breathe, he ran back out the hospital wing, passing by Brian, James and Peter.

"BLACK!"

He looked back towards the voice, not seeing anyone, and crashed into another student. Looking up, he started to apologise when he noticed who it was. It was Valerie.

"Have you seen Remus?" they both asked at the same time.

"Uhm…" Valerie started.

"Last time, I was with him at the library… and he just… he ran away, in the forest! And I haven't seen him since!"

Sirius thanked her and ran towards the forest. Taking out the marauder's map, which he had forgotten he had brought with him, he located Remus. The small dot indicating his friend was fading away and his name was slowly being erased. The map had never done that before!

He entered the woods and stood a few feet away from Remus.

"Moony…"

He was there, sitting down on his legs, knees apart, hair hiding his eyes. Tears were falling from his eyes. His hands were pressed to his chest.

"Moony… Remus… I'm here, let's get you inside ok?" He walked over to his friend hesitantly. Why was Remus outside here? Why hadn't he gotten in when it had rained. Why was he crying. Sirius had never Remus cry before,  he had been too strong for that. Nothing could make him show any emotions if he didn't want them to.

Sirius bent over in front of his friend, trying to look at his face. Remus didn't seem to notice that he was there.

"Remus?"

He put a hand on his friend's shoulder. The gesture snapped Remus out of his reverie. He gasped, as if he had stopped breathing, his chest heaved up heavily.  His head snapped up and he looked at Sirius, his face stained with dirt. And for the first time since Sirius was there, he noticed that Remus was actually holding something to his chest, pressing it there, hard, not letting go.

"Sirius…" he croaked, his voice was broken. Sirius realised what exactly was happening, and he pulled his friend's arm sharply from his chest. Remus was holding silver. Pure silver to himself. His hand was burned, the whole skin. It was black and had started to fall off. There was a hole in his shirt where the silver had been and the skin underneath it was black also, blood was leaking from both wounds.

"REMUS YOU IDIOT!" yelled Sirius, throwing the silver chunk away.  Getting his wand out, he muttered a few spells under his breathe, bringing a calming relief to the pained werewolf. The burns were still there but the pain had subsided, his body left being numb.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" Taking his friend by the shoulders, he shook him hard, trying to make him speak. Remus opened his mouth, tears still staining his cheeks, but no sound came out.

"ANSWER ME REMUS!" The young werewolf lowered his head, and pointed to the castle. Sirius understood, as it was the same thing that his friend would do on full moons to tell them to bring him to the tower. He cast a spell on Remus and, putting James' invisibility cloak over him, brought him to Gryffindor tower. As soon as the two had entered the dorm, the doors were locked and Remus had started scratching something on a piece of paper.

Sirius put the cloak on James' bed and ripped the paper from Remus' hands.

"Oh no you don't! You're not going to work on homework when you haven't answered me yet! You tried to kill yourself Moony!" Sirius' voice cracked.

"Why?" Remus simply pointed at the piece of parchment.

_Why didn't you let me die?_

Sirius looked at him, eyes wide. Remus grabbed the paper and wrote on it again, then, handing him the piece, he lay down on his bed.

I can't speak Sirius… 

****

"What happened?…" Remus pointed his wand at the paper and flicked it in a few ways, no words coming out of his mouth. Sirius looked at the paper and the words appeared on their own.

_I tried to kill myself._

"I know that! Why?"

James hates me… he left me there to die, he knew what I would do Sirius and he didn't do anything. He thinks that I'm the one who hurt Lily… he brought Brian against me!

"You… You're the one who hurt Lily?"

NO! I was merely trying to help her! Krista… 

"Krista! What's with that person! Lily told me to watch her!"

She is James' younger sister, don't you remember her? 

"Yeah… yeah I do… what's with her? Why can't you speak?"

She is a spirit, she's still jealous Sirius, she still wants James to herself. I can't speak… I… I drank… remember that old textbook with werewolf tortures?

"You… you drank… that stuff with the silver ends? You burned your throat! Where did you get that silver Remus?!"

Krista… she… here's how it went… 

_Laughter echoed throughout his mind._

_"He left you Lupin… he knows that you're a monster! And he left you there to die! My dear old brother left you, you don't even deserve to live. You didn't even deserve to have him as a friend! No one does!"_

_Remus didn't speak, he couldn't he didn't have the force to._

_"Can't speak Remus? Don't you just want to die, forget about James forever? Forget that you weren't loved at all? I brought you a gift Lupin."_

_He looked at her and found that a small stack of silver sand and a chunk of it lay at her feet._

_"All you have to do is drink it, and then burn this to yourself, you won't have to remember anything anymore, and I will have finally gotten rid of you! Do it Lupin, It's easy! Just do it."_

_Remus hesitated, did he really want to die. He still had Sirius and Peter, but what if, they thought he had tried to kill Lily too, what if James had already brought them both against him and that he was left alone forever? He couldn't take a chance. He had to do it._

_"Let me help you" she said, taking his hand and making him pick up the silver sand, making him drink it with the rain, making him press the solid to his chess. As soon as the object touched him, he stilled, not making any more movements, not being able to yell. Krista laughed._

"You're dyeing Lupin! Soon, you'll be out of my way! 

"How can she do this!" he yelled, outraged. Sirius looked at Remus, seeing that he had fallen asleep. He muttered a few more spells, to keep the pain from coming back, walked to the door. James would still speak to him. He hadn't done anything. Neither had Remus, but James thought so. Still not over the shock that one of his best-friends tried to kill himself, he stomped to the hospital wing in fury.

Entering, he walked directly to James' bed, pushing past Olivia and Kathy, two of the nurses. Sarah, the third nurse, was accompanying Brian in fixing James' meal. James looked at Sirius come in.

"Hey Padfoot!" he said cheerfully. He seemed normal. Lily was still in her bed, asleep.

_I don't think he has any recognition of what happened earlier._ Thought Sirius.

"James… You're still speaking to me right? Since I didn't do anything"

He approached his friend, but as soon as he was close enough, a bizarre aura enveloped James and his gaze on Sirius turned icy cold. His voice came out in the same manner, accusing and harsh.

"You helped him."

****

****

****

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Ok, very small chapter, but, I couldn'T put anything more in it. And I was in quite a rush to finish it , since it's 11:50 at night, and I'm pretty tired, so please! Tell me if you liked!

Review answers:

**Ashley48506:**  Well, as an author, my job IS to clear things up hehe, Thanks for your review, really appreciate it. And don't worry, Lily is the one with the least problems.

**Agloechen:** Lol, I like your review. Of course I understand! Waa You seem so nice, you know, what? I think I'm going to e-mail you, yup, yup, and you'll probably receive the email BEFORE you read this review-answer. I'm gonna learn Spanish in college! But even if I never took a class, and I understand stuff. So it's cool! Your English isn't that bad! I really think that you write it well!!! Well, thx for your review! I really really thank you for it. Lol, I'm so happy that you reviewed lollll, I think that I would really be sad if you didn't, lol. Oh well, Gotta answer to others! bubye Thanks again!

**BurningIce22:** I KNOW that she's a creepy little bitch. Well, for what happened to James, lol, uhm, he was kind of possessed, but not really… euh… hoping that you understand. Sorry for not updating sooner, but still hope that you liked it! I tahnk you very much for your review!

**Ruth23:** Wow… that was a nice and long review… well, thanks anyways!

**Chavela-Chica:** uhm… you're a new reviewer! Hoped that this chapter was up to your euh… well, to what you were expecting… ExPECTATIONS!!! Found the word ' hehe… well, thx!

**Erynwen:** YAY! You reviewed again!!! lolll your hooked and you think my writing rocks! I LOVE YOU!!! Yeah, I had a friggen problem with my word program! And I hope it won't do it again with this chapter!!! Thanks for your review!!!

**Gryffspopgurl:** I know.,.. it's really short, but I do my best! Well, thanks for reviewin'

**Laughing Dragoness:** WOW! Youre the first one that says that she is very well done I know I know cries

word fucked up on me!!!!!! cries some more well thx for your review! Really appreciate it!

**Louna:** Pfff c'Est toi qui avait signer louns en premire roule des yeux ouais, krista est conne! Tu me donne 90% pour ma fic? Pis ouais, ok d'bord, tu vas me dire la note en % pour TSQ dans ton review. James est tellement quoi? Tu l'As meme pas ecrit!!! Je suis tellement poche, jupdate full lentement! Surtout l'été! Pis jsais pu koi ecrire! part a pleurer bon, moi fo jy aille, crois le ou nom, 2day cest vendredi matin à 7h27 pis jai contiuer un peu a ecrire(mon dernier jours de cours!! Youppie!…)

**Boy-Crazy Bookworm :** Nothin much happened to Lily, she got possessed and then almost killed and now unconscious… that's about it ' hehe thx for tha review!

**Rc17:** lmao love your story, but, you changed your name o) oh well, thx for your review well, have I got a story for you! Whats between blue.. and gasp yellow? (ok it's lame, but who cares )

**Holly-evans**: I can't update very fast, I work and don't have much free time since I work 11 hours a day, but I do try! It'll probably go faster when school starts again. And the story is reaching it's end ' thx for your review(I f I continue I'll finish by telling you the whole ending…)and you wouldn't want that

**Swishy Willow Wand:** I hate that little girl hehe thx for your review, I appreciate it

**Ma Madden:** I really Really REALLY liked your review! And yeah Sirius and James rocks! But I like Remus too ;) It's the first time you review! You were good, reading up to here, love ya for it thx again!

**Stepha-La:** YAY again! another review fro you does happy dance he is a stooge, for now … thx for your review !!

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:** FIOU! What a pain to write your whole name loll nice moral there you put with my story loll but my story doesn't really have a moral… it's moral-less, and for shy and kinky, will have to wait, but there are some more! I promise! But first, I really have to eliminate…(uhm… wrote a bit too much there.. ill just stop hehe   ok fiou! You're the only reading this(I hope) I meant uhm… I have to finish a few things up before getting to those parts thanks for your review though! I really appreciate it! It's really fun knowing that some people actually take the time to review so and so, it makes me happy(here I go getting all gushy mushy about reviews again) oh well, what can I say, I love them! It's like… I dunno, establishing a connection with the readers, Ibet that authors who write realy books would've liked if reviews could be send by their readers and not only by the people from newspapers and such! Wow, I think that you've got the longest Review answer in this chapter!!! So yeah that's about it, gotta brainstorm ow to write the next one out! THX AGAIN WUV YOU!

Soo, people, that's about it! And omg! I divulged my secret to someone! I actually told someone the ending! Of this fic! So now two people know it and you know what! They are readers! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, chabang powpow! Please tell me if you liked, does anyone have a feeling of whats hapenning in the next chapter? Which will, hopefull,y be longer and take less time to write! Really really tired!!! Gotta sleep

Amalia Lupin, thinks she can walk on water

which is false

euh…

result:

gllbbbllougggbb(a.k.a. bubble speaking)

Translation: I just tried to walk on water and fell in the pond and now I'm speaking bubble talk!

PELASE REVIEW!! cries


	7. Tiny Loun

**Author's Note :** Hey everyone! Here I am, sitting on my kitchen chair(the computer one broke down) and writing up this A.N. so that then, I can start up on my new chapter. This week, I haven't been working at all! So This is like, my only vacation week of the whole, friggin, summer!!! Yay!! Ok, back to serious stuff, hoping that this time, word will still keep up with me and not fuck up on me again.

**Explanations:** Ok, so… sorry if everything seems to go by fast, but they have to. Just a little explanation, if anybody has something that they want to be explained that concerns the story or my writing… or my chapters delays and such, **_state in review_**, I will leave a little explanation notice in all further chapters from now on to ease things. And, I have no idea whether who is the oldest or youngest in this fic in the marauders. **And one more thing,** this chapter is a light, tad humorous(we all need humour in bad time) fill in chapter, which I need to put up to make this story continue, and which informs everyone what the characters are up too. Those who have appreciated Sirius' little conscious, and those who like to fluff up warmly, you will be satiated.

**NOTE:** Last Chap I didn't have time to re-red my chapter, so please, don'T be too mad if you find mistake sin this one, it's late at night when I usually re-read this.

**Disclaimer:** J.K. invented some stuff on a train, I just pick them out of my mind, everything she thought of on that train is hers. Touch what's mine without asking, you'll go haywire.

Here goes!

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Previous chapter

"Hey Padfoot!" he said cheerfully. He seemed normal. Lily was still in her bed, asleep.

_I don't think he has any recognition of what happened earlier._ Thought Sirius.

"James… You're still speaking to me right? Since I didn't do anything"

He approached his friend, but as soon as he was close enough, a bizarre aura enveloped James and his gaze on Sirius turned icy cold. His voice came out in the same manner, accusing and harsh.

"You helped him."

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The next few days that made up the time required for James to rest were filled with many mysterious events. Mainly, most of the school was now wondering how come the most popular Gryffindor was stuck in the hospital wing. And of course, rumours had been spread about the Marauders splitting up. Seems that some hufflepuff 4rth year had overheard the conversation going on between the world's two favourite canines and had spread the word that Mr Lupin had officially decided to leave on his own. Well, with the mental _and_ physical support of his friend but former partner in crime Sirius Black. Very soon though, James was up on his feet, walking as steadily as he could, roaming the hallways after curfew with his now two best friends. Apart from the slight misunderstandings that would occur every so often, everything was slowly regaining it's normal state around our friends.

"Are you ever going to talk to Moony…" asked Peter, trying hard enough to keep a fast pace around James, eyeing the werewolf as they entered the transfiguration classroom. The taller boy turned and grinned at his friend.

"Stop speaking rubbish Wormtail, and tell me exactly _what_ you are rambling about with this moony thing?" James sat down between Sirius and Lily. Sirius, as usual, was sitting behind Remus. He had taken on the responsibility to check on the younger boy. He looked at James and Lily out of the corner of his eye. She was scowling at what he was doing, mainly, not paying any attention at all and fooling around.

"Potter! How are you able to pass this class with extremely high notes and not pay an ounce of attention to that poor professor?" she hissed at him as he was waving his wand under the table, throwing wads of paper around the room. She let out an exasperated sigh and started taking notes of what the teacher was currently explaining.

"Actually, he doesn't need to listen Lils, not when Jamie here can get on the good side of dear old professor McGonnagal…" said Sirius.

_Yeah, on the good _naughty_ side of the dear Old Mcg. Huh?_the sound of the conscience's voice rang through his head.

_'YOU!' Thought Sirius._

_Well, Just think about it, if James sleeps with the Trans. Teacher, and gets good notes, you could sleep with Pr. Ewing and get high notes too!the voice rang again._

"EWW! You're disgusting!" exclaimed Sirius.

Lily looked at him strangely.

"Thanks for telling me that I'm disgusting Black!"

"No! Not you! I meant… uhm…"

"Getting cozy with lily I see." Said James in a sing-song joking manner.

"Rather be cozy with me Jamie-kins? I can fulfill your desires you know" answered Sirius without skipping a beat, cuddling up to his friend. James pushed him away and put an arm around Lily. Lily shrugged his arm off.

"I don't know if you're sleeping with McGonnagal to get your good notes James, but I need to write what she says down, so please." James looked shock, Sirius' eyes widened.

'_Does everyone think as bad as you do?_'

_Maybe_

Class ended pretty fast, students hurrying up to get out of the room. Maria grabbed Sirius as he mouthed a 'see you later' to Remus, leaving the mute boy to walk back with Peter.

_Guess what _Maria_ wants to do now huh?_

Sirius blushed.

"I…"

_'Aw just shut up!'_ he thought back as she pulled him elsewhere.

James walked with lily towards the Library. They still had about half an hour left before their next class, Charms. As soon as they were both alone in one of the empty corridors of the castle, James' eyes took on a strange glow, as if possessed. They stopped walking while Lily searched through her book bag. James moved to grab onto her neck slowly, but turned it into a caress when she turned around.

"You know James…" she said, her eyes closing at the his touch. She opened them again, looking straight into his eyes. Without saying anything more, she kissed him. The glow in his eyes disappeared, token off guard, James couldn't help but do anything else than kissing her back. She backed away, leaving him dazed, breathless actually. He still couldn't take on his normal breathing all the time.

'_At least I got rid of that glow_' she thought. She took his hand in hers and they continued walking, James being silent all the way through, content with holding her hand. They walked up the stairs and suddenly, James stopped.

"What's wrong?" asked Lily.

"Well…"

"Well? Why did you stop walking?"

She crossed her arms. James started breathing frantically.

"I can't walk anymore…" Lily started to panic.

"What do you mean you can't walk? Is there something wrong? Do you know what happened! I have to go get Brian _now!_"

"No I meant… My foot is stuck in the trick stair! I can't get it out!" He said, laughing at the priceless face that lily was making.

"You… YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME JAMES!"

He laughed, holding his stomach.

"So-sorry… hehe, It was just too funny, I had to say it that way!"

"Don't' _ever_ do that again get it!"

"Yeah, hehe."

Lily walked away, replacing the book bag's strap on her shoulder.

"Well, won't you help me out first?… Lily? Wait for me! I'm stuck… LILY!!!!!"

"Good night Jamesie." And she disappeared behind the corner.

"… Lily…? I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!"

Silence.

"Lily?…

dang…"

"Remus?"

The young werewolf turned around. Valerie hadn't spoken to him since the day he had ran out on her. He couldn't blame her.

"I did wait for you, you know… when you told me not to." He looked at her, mouth opening as if wanting to talk but closing right away.

"You never came back, not even when you _were_ back at the castle… Sirius told me what happened… sort of…" She went beside him and walked with him.

"Reckon James spent a nice night sleeping on the stairs?" Remus smiled.

"Do you like me Remus?" He stopped, looking at the floor.

_'Of course I like you…'_

He nodded.

"Because… because I kind of…"

_'I love you.'_

"Think of as my best-friend you know?" Remus fought the urge to walk away and stayed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Valerie smiled and he smiled back.

_'I guess we'll never be more huh Valerie?…_

_Yes… I guess.'_

__

_Sirius?…_

_Sirius…_

_Siiiii-riii-uuuuusssssss…_

_WAKE UP DAMMIT!_

"GYAHH!"

Sirius fell off the bed, crashing literally on the ground in a heap of covers bringing with him… someone?

_Heehee…_

"What the hell?" yelled a very female voice.

Sirius' first instinct was to check whether or not he still had clothes on upon hearing a girl's voice, girl who had previously been in bed with him.

'_Ouf… I got scared for a moment there…'_

_you forgot to check your pants zipper!_

Sirius quickly looked at frowned.

"You bloody moron! Who do you think I am?"

"Sirius Black, perverted, horny, ego-boosted, sexy, idiot man."

_Her words, not mine_ Sirius could practically 'see' the stupid conscience grin. Actually, he _could_ see it. Miniature, like a small fairy without any wings, floating in front of his nose.

"GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

"Sirius! Will you tell me what the hell's going on?"

"We didn't…" he asked, looking at the form from the corner of his eye. Maria giggled.

"No we didn't Sirius, you just fell asleep while I was reading."

"I… I have to go the loo for a moment ok?" He got up, quickly walking to the nearest bathroom, the small figure of the girl following silently, grinning.

"I see you can see me now can you" She said to him.

"How can a conscience actually be seen?" he asked her. She may have been about, three or four inches tall, brown hair down to her bottom and dark black eyes. Strangely resembling Maria and a bit of his mother… She had on a black t-shirt that said 182 on it with black Indian like pants. She was wearing black running shoes, simple, with yellow laces, tied securely.

"Actually, I have no actual idea as to why _you_ can actually see the actual me!"

"I hate you already…" The miniscule girl grinned. She was prancing above the counter, not actually touching it, more like floating a few millimetres over.

"Oh but you're stuck with me handsome" Sirius made a move to flatten her on the counter but missed.

She wagged her finger at him.

"Nah-a-aa! No touchy Mister." She said in a sing-song voice.

"I'll get rid of you, you… you… tiny… uhm… Loun!"

"Sirius?" asked Maria, entering the bathroom. "Who are you talking to?

"My dang conscience!"

"… gone to the loony bin he is!" she said, throwing her hand into the air.

"I'm not Loony she is!!!"

_Oh yeah Honey… what a nice way to convince her that you're not crazy, introduce your loony conscience! Teehee, I applaud you._

'_Oi… shut up you…'_ he told himself, walking to go to the common room since Maria had started to read her book again.

James had finally got his foot out of the trick stair and the day after, had the chance to fall asleep… on the couch. Instead of taking in some rest during his morning classes, like the nurse had told him to do, he went to them anyways, and now was extinguished. Lately he was tired very often. He couldn't go a day to all his classes without exhaustion reaching him. He lay his head down and closed his eyes. Then he felt the couch move. He opened an eye and saw his beloved patch of red hair. Bringing his head up, he opened his other eye and looked at her. She had a strange glow in her eyes.

"Hello James…" her voice came out as a whisper and it sent his spine tingling.

"Is there anything wrong Lily? Because I haven't been able to sleep and--" She silenced him by bringing her lips over his. His mind went blank. Ok, so he hadn't seen her all day, well, not since she left him in the staircase. One of her hands slid to his neck as the other one lay on his thigh. James inhaled. _'Ok… very… close…'_ he thought, but didn't say anything. And it was as if the glow from Lily's eyes left her and went into James'. He nipped at her bottom lip and deepened the kiss.

_Just a few more seconds…_

A cough.

And that was what it took the separate the two.

_Shit…_

James glared at Sirius as the said Gryffindor crossed the room. The time it took for Sirius to get out of the room, the glow was gone from his eyes. As soon as Sirius left, Lily looked at him and grinned.

"Aw come one James! He didn't do anything bad… Now where were we?" James tackled her down and started tickling her, making her yell.

"Let me go!" She said, freeing herself from his grasp easily. It didn't take her long to notice how easy it was to put him off. He hadn't regained all of his strength. She doubted her would ever.

"Oh no you don't!" he yelled back, getting up from the couch and starting to run. Lily shrieked and ran away, giggling. James caught her and threw her on the arm chair, tickling her mindless. He was going to strain himself. Suddenly she brought his head down. Making his tickling stop.

Sirius went to find Remus and Valerie who were on their way for a walk around the pitch.

"So, Rem, nothing new with Ol' Jamie huh?" he asked him. Remus shook his head. Sirius was walking backwards, facing them, looking back once in a while to see if he would end up bumping or tripping over something. He took out a chocolate frog, throwing it's wrapper on the ground.

"T-t-t" Valerie said, wagging her finger at him. Sirius grinned, mouth full of choclate.

"What?"

"Bad Dog Sirius"

His grin altered automatically. Something inside him flattened it's ear to it's head and lowered itself, whining, much like a naughty puppy. Remus laughed hoarsely. Sirius stopped walking, looking utterly devastated.

"That's not fair!" He said, his tone clearly accusing Remus though it was filled with regret, puppy's emotions. He pouted. Sitting on the ground.

_Haha! Aren't you darn cute, like a lil selfless puppy whine whine, bouhou, pick me up and pet me please?_

Remus stopped laughing suddenly. The air had turned cold.

"Rem?" Asked Sirius.

_'Your turn is soon Black… so soon…'_

In the Gryffindor Common room, A certain boy started coughing… and couldn't stop.

"James?" asked Lily, concerned.

He coughed some more into his hands

"Water… please" he asked in between coughs, they were blocking the air. He took a sip from the glass that Lily gave him which made him cough some more. Wiping the water that had spluttered from his mouth, he took the glass and handed it back to her.

Blood prints had stained it.

------

**JUST TO SAY THAT!: I wanted to thank deoxy for his(it's he right?) his review for this chapter, I tried to fix certain parts and added a little something at the end, that I had momentarily neglected to add. And Cleared up the Conscience conversations a bit due to Erynwen's review. Again, Thanks Deoxy for pointing those things out, I owe you , you'll like the next chapter better, promise.**

_I am so sorry for not making this any longer and for making you wait, but you should be used to my apologies now shouldn't you? I hope this hasn't confused you Well It's one less chapter I have to do to get to the end of this. And it IS soon, though I do admit that letting go of this will be weird. It's kinda late right now… almost 11 Pm, but yeah, I just wanted to finish this lil chappie. So I don't have much else to say here except maybe a few notices:_

**_NOTICES_**_: Ok, the 'bad dog' reference, isn't invented by me, I have no idea where I read this but I guess that lots of people have used it before me, I have only used the idea, not the actual words or else it would be stealing. And Special notice for my dearest queen: laugh at me and the fluff, I'll kill you happily, or Kill Mr. J. O'D. Luv ya Missy-poo_

Review Answers

**Brat101:** you found it unnevering? Oh well… Thanks for encouraging me And for your review

**Laughing Dragoness:** Thanks for reviewing! Really appreciate that you liked the other chap, hope this one satisfies

**KLLRS:** You just started reading this??? And you stayed all 6 chapters! WOW! Your review makes an author feel special! Made ME feel special! I LOVED your review! I feel all fuzzy and warm despite the cold air coming in the window… I should really close that darn window… oh well, thx for your review Hope you like this chapter!

**Agloechen:** OLGI!!!!!!(huggles Olgi) I'm so sorry I couldn't put this up faster! Now you're gonna have to wait for so long if you can't read it in England!(huggles Olgi again) I know I should change the genre… I think I will,,, when I feel like it hehe… Because, is she gets rid of Lily right away on her own demeanour(can't believe I just used that word) he would feel bad and wont speak to her anymore, so… think about you might figure it out ' And yes, I don't have a beta, I reread my stuff, It's just that, last chapter I haven't been able to re-read anything at all, so I did realise that I HAD made a few typing mistakes and grammar errors and such, hoping I don't miss too much in this one. I feel soo bad now for not updating earlier Olgi-kins!!(huggles Olgi once more) so glad you reviewed!!!!

**Jillie:** Not a very dark chappie, but important none the less. Glad you reviewed!

**Chewy1:** what confused you? I mean, I know there were confusing parts but, I would like to clear them up for you! And ask away, I could answer most of your questions. Thx for reviewing!

**Merci tout de meme à Cheyna**

****

**Gryffspopgurl :** hehe I know she is, I hate the damn little girl, but, She HAS to be a bitch! Loved your review, made me laugh! Thx!

**Ruth3:** LONG LIVE RED CIRCULAR ROOMS! I was so happy when I saw your review!!! Thx so much! Hope you like this chapter!(huggles Ruth)

**Holly-evans:** creepy? Hehehe, thx

**Erynwen:** Yay you reviews again! again, tell me what confused you, ill do my best to explain! Nad for the breathe reference, yes, and you haven't been the first to tell me. Thx for your review

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:** YAY!!!(huggles you) you reviewed" (dances) I understood your 'time' sentence don't worry hehe Hell do I remember the friggin doll movie, I absolutely HATE Chuckie! My aunt's fav movies WERE chucki and when I was barely 3 or 5 or 7 or whatever, she would replay those movies over and over again, I have been traumatised by dolls at night for the rest of my life(for real) and I always check to see if they are any knives (like butter knives, for various reasons, I have butter knives in my room) under my bed, just in case! Tinky Winky, on the other hand, Is EXTREMELY toxic situation and should never be mentioned unless you want to turn into a homosexual kids harasser. And NOBODY'S supposed to know about Dumbly! I thought I told you it was a secret ' Hope you were fine with this chappie (huggles again) Thx for your review!!!

**Louna:** James is blind! And you're not the only one who thinks that Krista's a bitch, I friggin hate her too! And thx for the TSQ note I knew what it meant even if it written 10. Did you like the lil note I put for you ust over the review answers? Do you know how hard it is to not just start writing to yu in French right now? Well, steph just got off the comuter and it's 11 something at night Hope you liked this chapter! And Sirius' Lil conscience! (huggles Louna)

**Kita:** I know it's sad, thx though! For reviewing!

_Ouf! At least I got over 10 reviews! Which is Humunguous by the way, I guess my chapter wasn'T as good as the others or maybe Some of them just elft me down, but Hey, I take a long time loading up new ones, I just thank everyone who has stayed with me so far(huggles everyone)_

_One question:_

_What do you think some evil bitch(Do I have to mention the name) is up to?_

_PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW ON YOUR WAY OUT! I would just really appreciate it._

_Amalia Lupin_

_Horribly in need of any affection_

_(huggles)_


	8. Letting Go part 1

**Author's Note :** First of all, I know, my previous chapter sucked. And I do admit that it was only there to put some space between two chapters. Though it did have it's uses, which I still needed to enter somewhere, I just had to lighten up the chapter a little. Again, sorry for that miserable chapter. And now, the story must go on.

**Explanations:** Glowing eyes definition: Krista. Hope that was enough for everybody. Also, this fic is nearing it's end… Also, very short chapter, sorry for that…

**Disclaimer:** Everything J.K. invented is hers. Everything that I invented is mine. It's up to you to figure out which is which.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Previous Chapter

Remus stopped laughing suddenly. The air had turned cold.

"Rem?" Asked Sirius.

_'Your turn is soon Black… so soon…'_

In the Gryffindor Common room, A certain boy started coughing… and couldn't stop.

"James?" asked Lily, concerned.

He coughed some more into his hands

"Water… please" he asked in between coughs, they were blocking the air. He took a sip from the glass that Lily gave him which made him cough some more. Wiping the water that had spluttered from his mouth, he took the glass and handed it back to her.

Blood prints had stained it.

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

James sat up and started walking towards his dorm.

"James wait! We should really get you to the hospital wing!"

He stumbled, pressing his hand on the bulletin board to stay stable.

"Argh!" He yelled, bringing his hand to his mouth. There had been a pin sticking out and it had pierced through his hand. The blood was spilling out abnormally. James just stayed there, watching the blood spill out of his hand. It was flowing, forming a puddle at his feet, staining the carpet and his shoes. His eyes seemed stuck on the puddle.

"HELP!" yelled Lily as he crumbled down. She hadn't had the time to yell twice that Brian was already entering the common room.

"I spelled a sensor on him, we need to get him out of here right now, the magic in his blood is trying to find a way out of his body." He explained to her as he brought James to the hospital wing on a stretcher. They hurried up without talking more.

"Sarah, get me my mediwand on my desk and Olivia, Go in the storage room and bring the box the box labelled 'Potter'. Kathy, go get Dumbledore." Ordered Brian as he flicked his wand towards one of the tables. He led James to it and magicked him on it. Sarah came back and handed him his mediwand. Apparently, James had also bruised his knee while falling down and the blood was spreading inside his body. Brian started saying an incantation and Sarah and Olivia joined in. They got activated on James as Lily was sent back up to the Gryffindor tower. It took about an hour but finally, the blood stopped spreading.

James opened his eyes, everything was unfocused, though he _did_ have his glasses on, he knew it. He could feel them. Bringing his hand up to his forehead, he noticed the bandage around it. Just as he was about to ask what happened he got caught up in a fit of coughs. Each time he coughed, his rib cage would shake and hurt enormously. Trying to stop, he calmed himself, bringing his deep coughs to small ones.

"Mr. Potter, I take it that you have figured out that this isn't any normal coughing fit…" asked Dumbledore. The old man had previously entered the hospital wing accompanied by Kathy. James could see that the headmaster wasn't too happy about his condition. He knew that he hadn't taken care of himself lately, letting time pass by and trying to live as normally as he could, without thinking of his sickness. But everyday those thoughts plagued him. James nodded in agreement to Dumbledore's statement and coughed again, holding onto his stomach as the pain went through his body. He remembered feeling that pain before, it was when the first symptoms had appeared. It would hurt him when he coughed, laughed and breathed heavily. They were growing stronger.

"It's time that we talk Potter…" said Brian. The talk lasted the whole day. The talk was about his whole life…

So time passed, and from that day on, James got weaker and weaker. His once nicely browned skin was pale, almost completely white. He wore a sulky look on his face wherever he went and his eyes were much darker than usual. James hadn't had the strength to walk long distances, getting to his classes was already hard enough as it is. Of course, Sirius was there to help him, and Peter, though he did not do much, more likely watching than actually giving him a hand. Lily was there too, but, for some odd reason, wasn't too close to him.

Brian and the three assistant medi-witches could be found everywhere in case James would need them. He trusted them and knew that they would do their job well, but seeing them around him everyday only reminded him that he couldn't take care of himself anymore.

Halloween passed, James having to stay in his dorm while everybody participated in the festivities. November came, with all of the snow and such. And James just had to go into the forest. He had too.

"Krista…?" he coughed, closing his eyes. You could hear a distant giggle, then a gasp.

"James? You came!" she slid down from her place over the frozen pond. It was so cold that you could see the ice smoke. James glared at his sister.

"I got rid of Remus last Krista… and now I have to get rid of Sirius… Are you ure that it's the best idea?"

"Yes! It is James! Do you really want to hurt their feelings when you'll leave them behind? I am sure they don't even mind!"

"Krista! They ARE my _friends_! I've never wanted to let go of Remus. Now he won't even try to speak to me! Actually, he doesn't speak to anyone anymore! And I have no idea why! I was worried as hell about him and I had to turn him away!" Krista smiled as her brother coughed.

You will soon be with me brother… 

"I have to go now… I'll try to be back soon Krista…" she simply waved to him as he walked back towards the castle.

_Only two more to go and you won't know anything anymore, you won't know anyone except me…_ she said, laying down on the iced pond.

Just as he walked out of the clearing, Sirius, who was with Remus and Maria, started running towards him.

"Are you okay James? Do you want me to do anything?" he asked, eating some of the maple fudge that ha loved so.

His friend mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What?"

"I don't want you. To treat me. Like… a child. So go… AWAY!!!" he yelled, pushing him away. Sirius was dumbfounded… Why was he acting like that? Maria walked up to him, asking what happened.

I don't want to leave you without telling you, so I'm just leaving you now… 

He stomped through the grounds, walking nowhere in particular. He was so angry with himself. He hated having to leave his friends like that but if he would explain, they probably wouldn't let him do it. They would tell him he was absurd and he would end up bawling on their shoulders, which of course, he did not want to happen. The snow was falling lightly, covering everything living and not in white. One thing about the snow and winter was that it seemed to make your breathing easier. The air then seems fresh and rid of all it's uncleanness. He passed beside Remus, his eyes locking with his. The werewolf lowered his and James stopped, eyes still stuck onto the sandy-haired boy. Remus lifted his gaze to make it plunge into James' again. And he understood, And he smiled sadly. James could barely believe it. Remus didn't have anything against him! No grudges, nothing. Finally, he simply ripped the look apart and walked away in the opposite direction, head down.

They both knew that they would leave it there. Remus would never pardon James completely. His 6th year had been scarred and it was one that would never go away, no matter how strong the link between him and James could become.

Classes were over due to vacations. December was very frantic for everybody. And James was less close than he ever was to all of his friends. He would have to pay the hospital wing a visit every week due to his bad health. Potions had to be taken everyday to help him get on with his life. He grew tired over the days. The only person left that was still close to him was Lily, Sirius would have to be taken care of.

"James, tell me what I did wrong?" he asked for about the millionth time that month. James just sighed and continued walking, ignoring him.

"James! I'm speaking to you! You can't ignore me forever!" Sighing, he just went on. As soon as he got in the Gryffindor common room, he sat on one of the overstuffed armchair in front of the fireplace. Lily saw him and went to sit beside him.

"Hey James!"

"Leave me alone."

She opened her mouth to say something but refrained from doing so. She couldn't hide from her face that the way James acted with her hurt her awfully. Throughout the previous years, if he would've told her to leave him alone she would've laughed and tell him to bugger off somewhere else, that he was the one taking up her personal space. But that was before she had learned about his sickness, before she had learned to let him be, before he had learned that she loved him. And she knew that there was much more to learnt about him. And not very much time left to do so. She got up, walking away from the couch.

_This is it…_ she thought, _I can't let this go on anymore… Tomorrow… Tomorrow I'll tell him._

She went to see Maria and Valerie, who were both studying. Exams weren't for another month really, but they were just both behind their work lately.

"Girls, I really think that we should take this night off and go somewhere…"

Maria looked up from her book and smiled. It was decided, and Lily just had to take her mind off the obvious. Tonight, they were going out.

That same night, James had been looking for Lily. He really wanted to say that he was sorry. Wanted to explain that he wanted Lily to love him, to be there for him, but that soon he wouldn't be able to do those things. He wasn't supposed to be out after curfew, he knew, but he had to tell her. He heard a sound from around the corner of the hallway. He couldn't get caught, he couldn't handle another detention. He walked slowly, heart thumping.

Come on James, you're a marauder, you should find this easy! 

But, he didn't have his cloak with him. His hand plunged into his pocket for the map. It wasn't there.

Dang! 

Trying to move without making any noise, he glided down the corridor. Lily wasn't anywhere in sight. Suddenly, the person lurking in the darkness jumped out and pinned him to the wall.

"You have nowhere to go now Prongs! You're going to have to answer me!"

Oh… no… 

James had recognised the voice instantly. And he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Why are you ignoring me? What have I done?"

Sirius let his grip loosen a bit, remembering that James wasn't that strong, and then, something clicked.

"Look at me James.."

He lifted his head and looked at Sirius, not speaking, Everything Brian told him passing through his mind.

"Oh… Oh god… James… No…"

**AND NOW' THIS IS THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!**

_HEY guys! I know, very short chapter, hoping that it's better than the last one, at least, the other one sucked, I know. Story reaching it's end, a bit fast, again, I've noticed, I just don't think that this fic is worth being written anymore since I think it profoundly needs extreme revision and that is something I can not do. So again, I'm going to write this as fast as I can without missing the point and getting this to the ending as accurately as possible. Thanks for reading so far, I love **ALL OF MY REVIEWERS** so much, again thx for your encouragements and support I LOVE YOU !_

_Review Answers_

**_Erynwen:_** I hope that you re-red the snippets part,thx for your review and everything!

**_DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:_** Yes, confusing Glowing eyes thing! Uhm I really appreciated your review and everything! Your support throughout this fic and just the fact that you took your time to review and point out what was wrong even if you didn't like my chapter, was great! I really really was glad that you could be honest with me, which is what I want from people, hope this mall small chapter was better! Thx again!

**_Laughing Dragoness_**: Again, hope I un-confused you ' thx for your review!

**_Louna:_** UH,mmmmmmmm (scache) I wouldn't dare?????(hides in fear of being killed from her nicest-greatest-extremylgoodwriter-friend!) tiny loun, lol, té la seule a avoir fait un commentaire sur elle jpense and for the blood thought, it's explained in this chapter why he bleeds whe he coughs. And im not giving up I just want to get this voer with! Well thx for your review! I really really appreciate that you're reading this! **se fanne de la mains** chuis tellement ému ' lol(hugs)

**_KLLRS:_** Oohhhhhhh, uhm…I forgot to put maple fudge in there!(goes and adds it somewhere) ok, so there it is! Thx for your review! I really am glad that you reviewed!!!!!(huggles)

**_Kita:_** Yup, she's the one alright, who said you'll be next Here's the next chapter!!! Thx for your review!

**_MegHarts:_** oops, not blood, well there was more blood here, thx for saying my chapter was great even when it was obvious that it totally sucked compared to the other ones, I really thank youfor your review! Thx so much, hope you liked this one!

So that's about it people. I don't think the next chapter will take too long to come, I mean, that is, if my mother doesn't kcik me off the computer all the time like she usually does, now is just an exception I guess. Please review, I appreciate the fact that those who reviewed for the alst chapter actually did even if it sucked, and as for all of my readers, even if you don't review, I love you anyways, because I know that you're reading, and I still thank you anyways. So I have to go now, bubye and till next time!

_Amalia Lupin_


	9. What if

**Author's note :** Ok… Most of you will hate me now… Or just plainly ignore my work from now on because I will have disappointed you all. In advance, I am saying sorry because I starting writing this in a time which I prefer forgetting, and this story just doesn't fit with me at all anymore.

**Disclaimer:** Everything that appeared at least once in J.K.'s books are hers. The song belongs to the person who wrote it, a.k.a., not me

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Hello everyone, I know that by reading this you are wondering why I am not starting my chapter the usual way, well I have to announce something. Those of you who have been reading for a while, may not want to read this, may simply want to never come look at this fic again because this chapter is going to be a very big resumé of what's left. I simply can't stand to continue writing this when I lost my inspiration for this such a long time ago. For those who just may be curious and just want to know the ending, or how this turns out, well you'll find out here.

I do hope that you will not judge me by how I updated and wrote this because I was a completely different person when I had started '9 Months' and I went through many things and changed… a lot. I will post up new fics, but '9 Months' is simply a thing of the past, which I would rather forget. So for those who simply may want to know the rest, here it is…

;-

Sirius figures out that James is dying. He doesn't want to listen to James trying to explain to him that there is no other choice than to bring everyone against him. He tries to tell him that it's no use doing so but James has a hard head and follows strongly his idea, or rather, his sister's. Meanwhile, Lily and James' relationship is holding by a thread. One moment they are in each other's arms and the next, James is pushing her away and doesn't even speak to her. He gets some information about researches who are currently working on finding a cure. He goes to see his sister more and more but his condition keeps aggravating. For about two weeks, he is alone. The only people he would actually speak to were Dr Brian, Dumbledore and the nurses once in a while. He wanted to die in peace, but it seemed like hell to him. He just did not want any of his friends, especially Lily to be sad and mourn him when he left this world. He didn't think that he deserved so much. Still no news from the cure researchers.

Then, James suddenly starts to cough, too much. He can hardly breath and the coughing just makes it worse. He coughs up blood all the time. The magic is trying to exit his body, it's trying to run out of him. His blood, being magical, is the only way out. James is confined to his hospital bed. 2 days later, he receives news from the researchers. They found a cure, or at least something that will make him live longer. James doesn't want to suffer some more and decides to not take it. He sleeps most of the time and can't eat. He drinks various liquids to stay nourished. His voice is hoarse and he is bruised everywhere.

The night came and James decided to send for his friends. If they would want to come that is. Dr Brian did not argue and went to get Sirius, Remus and Peter. James sighed in relief when he saw Sirius and Peter cross the hospital wing doors. He wanted to apologise for what he did to them. He realised that it really wasn't the best thing to do and wasn't angry at Remus for not coming. He could understand that the werewolf would not want to accept his apology. Then, The doors creek open and there he is. And James starts to cry. He doesn't want to leave his friends… there was always the cure but… he would have to ask them the impossible…

James looks out the window. It's raining outside, pouring heavily over the castle grounds and someone is out there. Someone is alone outside, under the rain with no cloak and completely drenched. Lily is crying. She knows that James is going away. She knows that he doesn't want to take whatever cure the researchers found because they are not even sure if it's going to work. James would've been the first one to try it. Suddenly, she gets up, and runs towards the castle doors. Someone is waiting for her behind those doors. She has no idea who it is but what she does know is that she can't reach them. Krista is holding her back.

"James is not going to take that cure Evans! He can't! I will be useless then!"

"Leave me alone!" Lily runs away and finally enters the castle, not really comprehending what Krista just told her. Sirius is there, behind the doors. He is pale and shaking. Tears stained his face and he took Lily's hand. Shock overcomes her. Is he dead? Did James already die? It can't be! It can't be happening… No…

"James wants to see you Lily…" he tells her. Lily's eyes widen. He's not gone! Inhaling sharply, she starts to run with Sirius at her heels and then, upon reaching the hospital wing, opens the doors and walks in, regaining her breath. She goes to his side and notices that Sirius stayed outside with Remus and Peter, who both were also crying silently. She turns around and looks at James.

"What's… Why did you want to see me?"

"I am going to take the cure Lily…" A smile broke upon her face.

"Really?" And then realisation dawned on her, If he was going to take the cure, then why were the other marauders so sad…

"I only ask one thing of you Lily… I…" She looked at him, waiting for him to continue speaking.

"I love you so much Lily… and I want you to… I wish there were more time!" He tells her angrily.

"James…"

"Goodbye Lily…"

"But you said that you were going to take your cure!"

"Yes! I know… But… I hate saying this, I hate that I have to tell you this, to make you do this, and make my friends do that also… along with my family… But… I need you to forget me, to forget everything that we could've had together because I don't want to break your heart. I have no idea how I'll be…"

"What are you talking about? Aren't you going to live! This isn't going to change anything James! I will love you no matter what!"

"The cure… has a few conditions that come with it… I'll… lose my memory, only the part that is filled with memories and souvenirs and events. Nothing that I learned will be erased, but I… I am surely not going to recognise you… nor Sirius or Remus or my parents… You will have to act as though you don't know me or try to be friends with me all over again but it will be like starting from zero except that I'll probably never remember anything about what we had, when I hated you and when everything changed… I'll forget my own best friends… Just… Please remember Lily… For both of us… I love you so much…"

And with the tears streaking down both of their faces, James swallowed the cure that had been brought by Brian and that had been residing behind him ever since he heard about it. He let out a yell of pain and fainted, slipping into a temporary coma.

;-

_Time, sometimes the time just slips away  
And your left with yesterday  
Left with the memories  
I, I'll always think of you and smile  
And be happy for the time  
I had you with me  
Though we go our seperate ways  
I won't forget so don't forget  
the memories we made_

_Please remember, please remember  
I was there for you  
and you were there for me  
Please remember, our time together  
The time was yours and mine  
while we were wild and free  
Please remember, please remember me_

_Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say  
And it's sad to walk away  
with just the memories  
Who's to know what might have been  
We'll leave behind a life and time  
I'll never know again_

;-

A whole week had passed and Lily had spent most of it with Sirius and Remus, Peter had gone unnoticed. She had been listening to stories concerning James, events and things that had happened to him. She wanted to know the most she could about him, even though… even though, she had hope. She hoped that he would wake up and everything would be fine. The researchers had said that Memory loss was ONE of the side effects that could happen, but it had never been tested. It had been proven though, that if it would not delete the disease completely, it would at least subside it for years and years to come. Everyday, she would go with Sirius and Remus to the hospital wing and stay there for a few hours, telling him what she had learned about him today, wishing that he could've told her all of this himself. Then, on a Saturday afternoon, James woke.

Brian laughed happily, James was alive! Sirius and Remus were so happy that they hadn't noticed anything weird going on. They had forgotten what James had told them. Everyone was simply so happy to see that James had revived and gained colours and seemed as healthy as before that they didn't notice Lily quietly sitting next to him and looking at him. He turned around and faced her. Big, bright, brown eyes, staring straight into hers. For a moment, there was a glimpse of hope that sprang into her mind. But his eyes remained the same, unfocused, searching.

"James…"

"Who are you?"

And each time she saw him in the great hall,with his friends, Lily though...what if there _hadn't_ been nine months left... What if... just like now, there was a lifetime... What if...

;-

_So this is about it, And now I really resumed this the most I could…_

**I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER SUPPORTED THIS FIC AND APOLOGISE TO THEM FOR LETTING THEM DOWN**

_I am quite ashamed of doing this but it had to be done… _

_What I won't accept are flames… Even if I did abandon this story, flames are so repulsing and those who actually take time and pleasure to do so are wasting some time they had to read something better. So please, save your fiery breath for your candles or something._

Amalia Lupin


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